I'm not advocating being a Stepford wife or your hubby's yes man. I'm not advocating being hypocritical. What I am advocating is common sense, support of your husband, and prudence in dealing with your husband when you don't agree or at odds. You see, if you communicate displeasure or frustration in front of members, you are opening the door for disrespect to develop. This makes ministry much more difficult. We all know our husband's weaknesses, dislikes, and failings but just as we hope that our husbands don't expound on ours from behind the pulpit, we should not communicate his when in front of the pulpit.
When my hubby and I disagree about something concerning ministry, I always, always, always concede to his way of thinking. You see, he is the Pastor, not me. He is the one God has gifted to lead, not me. He is the one God speaks to, for the most part, about the church. At best, I maybe expand his area of thought or act as confirmation, but ultimately I am not the Pastor, he is.
I often think of the Proverbs 31 woman. Her husband was a man in a position that required and demanded respect. Part of the reason that he was so well respected had to do with the character and actions of his wife. She "did him good" and "his heart trusted" in her. Only a man worthy of respect would have chosen a woman like her. Only a woman of impeccable character would shine so brightly that her glow would warm and illumine the good character of her husband as well.