When I realized that I had been passed over...again..the devil immediately tried to go to work in my mind. He started whispering things in my ears telling me that I never seem to measure up no matter how hard I try. It is true that if we look back over our lives, we will always remember times when we didn't measure up. I've had people in my life that no matter what I did or how well I did it, they always have some criticism about it. Instead of slapping me on the back and saying "good job!", they offer their opinions about how I did it, how I could have done it differently or better and how I missed some potential or opportunity, making me feel like I just didn't quite measure up.
It is true that in life, at times, I have been cast aside and discarded by family, friends, employers and congregants. I've been taken for granted, taken advantage of, used, and unappreciated. The devil tried to create a slideshow in my mind of all those times. He told me, this is just one more time you didn't measure up, one more time you've failed, one more time that proves that you really don't matter. Just accept the fact that you're never going to be truly valuable or useful to anyone. You're never going to be special in any way.
That lasted about as long as it took him to say it. I was ready for him this time.
You see, the last couple of years have taught me a most valuable lesson. God truly does see me and love me...just the way I am...with all my weakness, all my failures, even if no one else on this earth can find any value in me at all. And that's more than enough for me.
I love this song. It's been my reality.
Reckless Love
Written by Cory Asbury, Caleb Culver, and Ran Jackson
Verse 1
Before I spoke a word, You were singing over me
You have been so, so good to me
Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me
You have been so, so kind to me
Chorus
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights ‘til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn’t earn it, I don’t deserve it, still You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Verse 2
When I was Your foe, still Your love fought for me
You have been so, so good to me
When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me
You have been so, so kind to me
Bridge
There’s no shadow You won’t light up
Mountain You won’t climb up
Coming after me
There’s no wall You won’t kick down
Lie You won’t tear down
Coming after me
Just as I was telling the devil how much God loves me, I glanced at the promise calendar sitting on my desk. It said:
"When he speaks in the thunder, the heavens roar with rain. He causes the clouds to rise over the earth. He sends the lightning with the rain and releases the wind from his storehouses."That brought a smile to my face. You see, that same God that this passage is talking about is MY father. He is the lover of my soul. He is the one who knows if one of my hairs falls from my head. He treasures every prayer, listens to every thought, keeps every tear, and His good thoughts towards me are numbered more than the grains of sand in the sea. I am the apple of His eye. He delights and dances over me!
When He speaks, things happen. Because He controls the weather, because He tells the sun when to come up in the morning and when to set at night, because He so meticulously shepherds my life, then when it's time for promotion, there's not a demon in hell or a supervisor on earth that can stop it.
Oh how wonderful to know that I am safe in His care. I am valued in His Kingdom. Nothing comes to me that doesn't pass through His hand or isn't part of His plan to give me an abundant, productive, successful, and joy filled life. I may not understand when hard times come, when rejection is my lot, or when it seems that I am no more than a whisper on this earth, but I do know that I need not fear, I need not feel ashamed, I need not feel passed over, discarded or cast aside because I am God's cherished child and He is thrilled with me. In the end, that is all that will matter anyway.