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"The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing.  He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul."  

Delightful bites from the Word of God.

Good Gifts: Answered Prayer/Red Letter Journey Stop #2

8/12/2020

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“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him! Matthew 7:7-11

This passage is my next stop on my red-letter journey (just reading the words of Jesus). I had committed to read only scripture and nothing else except my concordance. I do this several times a year.  I love other’s words but I love The Word the most! Some days, I just hug it to my chest and cry because it’s life to me. The first time I did this was when I was pregnant with my 2nd child.

I was not able to have children. I was miraculously healed as I sat by myself with the Word in my living room.  (That’s a story for another day.) After my first child was born, I had two miscarriages and I have to admit that  it threw me for a loop. Didn’t God fix my body? Why was I having miscarriages? Did He renege on His promise? Did He change His mind? Did He change?

A few years later, I sat down to read my Bible. I had recently finished a book about generational curses and had seen some things in it that spoke to me which I had committed to prayer. When I opened my Bible, a promise calendar I had received in the mail fell out so I decided to read the promise for that day. It was from 2 Samuel 22:20-22. 

“He also brought me forth into a broad place;
He rescued me, because He delighted in me.
“The Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness;
According to the cleanness of my hands He has recompensed me.
“For I have kept the ways of the Lord,
And have not acted wickedly against my God.

At that moment, it really didn’t mean anything to me. Later that day, I went to the doctor because I had been feeling flu-ish for a while. I was completely shocked when the doctor told me I was pregnant. Now normally, I would have been afraid because of the previous two pregnancies but instead, I felt a sweet peace and that verse echoed through my mind and I felt sure that God was promising me this child. 

At about 8 weeks, I started to spot as I had the previous two pregnancies and the doctor informed me that my placenta was detaching and there was nothing they could do. I saw it on the sonogram. If it continued,  I would lose the baby. Again, that verse echoed through my mind and I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. 

At about 14 weeks, we traveled to Illinois to attend a Campus Pastor’s retreat. The second day there, I started to bleed heavily and passed a clot the size of a small saucer. My husband rushed me to the nearest medical center. They informed me that I was having a miscarriage, and transferrered me to the nearest hospital about 30 miles away. I refused to let the ambulance leave until my husband retrieved my Bible from the car where I had left it when we arrived at the emergency room. All the way to the hospital, I hugged 2 Samuel 22 to my chest and reminded God of what He had said to me. At the hospital, I received the same diagnosis from the gynecologist who saw me. There was no heartbeat and too much blood. Then something just rose up in me and I sat up on the bed, looked that doctor right in the eye, stuck my finger in his face and said, “I don’t care what you say. God promised me this baby and I’m having it when it’s due!” And then I laid back down. Well the doctor didn’t quite know what to think (and frankly, neither did I because I didn’t see that coming at all! It just came out!) He ordered an internal sonogram to take a look and prove to me that he was right in his diagnosis before committing me to the nearest mental facility. He came to my room afterwards with a puzzled look on his face. “You did not lose the baby. It’s just a really active one. It’s literally bouncing off the walls, going from side to side. That is why we couldn’t find a heartbeat. Furthermore, your placenta is perfectly attached and there is no scar tissue or any signs of bleeding. I really don’t understand this.” Needless to say, my second daughter was the only one of my four children that was born on her due date just as I had said and just as God had promised. When she was born, I sent a birth announcement and a letter with the plan of salvation to the doctor. 

Not every story turns out this well though, does it? Not all of my stories have. And if you’re like me, you might ask the Lord “Why?” It seems that there is a disconnect somewhere because this scripture and many others clearly promise that if you ask, seek and knock, believe, and ask according to His will, you will receive what you’re asking, seeking and knocking for. So what is missing? Did something get missed in the translation? 

This is where the rubber hits the road in the Christian life, isn’t it? When things happen that seem to us contrary to what the Word says and we have no explanation. When we pray and pray for something good and it doesn’t come to pass. Well meaning people might just tell us that God is sovereign, everything happens for a reason and He knows best, and just to trust Him.  That sounds so noble and there is some truth in that, but after so many times of repeating this mantra, a subtle distrust, an underlying suspicion of God will develop. The scripture above tells me that I should be delighted when God answers my prayers but I shouldn’t be surprised. I believe God really meant what He said in the A-S-K guarantee and is just looking to show Himself strong, to show off a little, just for me. He’s looking to delight me, as a good father does.

And here lies the dilemma. Sometimes what God says doesn’t happen for me. It might happen for others, but sometimes it doesn’t happen for me. So instead of just letting it go and setting myself up for it to happen again, I want to know why.  Obviously, the problem lies with me. I want to know why because I believe that God meant what He said and that He is perfectly capable and wanting to prove Himself to me, and His Word trustworthy. 

To glibbly say that God is sovereign just doesn’t cut it for me. If God’s sovereignty means that God is going to do what God is going to do, then what is the purpose of prayer? Why is there so much instruction in the Word concerning prayer if our prayers are not going to make a difference? Sometimes our prayer experiences make God look more schizophrenic than like the good father mentioned in the passage above. The distrust that builds causes us to neglect prayer or to quit praying altogether. Except when we’re in church. Or someone asks us to pray. Or we are desperate. Oh, we would never admit it out loud. It sounds too blasphemous. We just let life bowl us over instead of causing us to ask hard questions in search of the  truth. And God gets lost or mis-represented in the shuffle.

Asking, seeking and knocking prayer is not some form of spiritual exercise to keep us busy. It’s not just some religious thing that we do because God tells us to. And it certainly was never meant to be an exercise in taking a shot in the dark! He has purpose in it and there is power in it, if we do it His way! 

God does not hear every prayer.  Uh oh, I think I probably just kicked someone’s sacred cow.  But it’s true. If our hearts are not right before God and others, He will not hear our prayers. If we are not born again, if we have unforgiveness towards someone, if we are mistreating others, God will not hear or listen to our prayers. This is step one. If this describes you, stop right here and make it right, whatever it is or your prayers will not be heard or answered by God. 

Step 2: Remember Honi? Remember how he was criticized for putting a demand on God? Remember how God answered and even adjusted His answer to meet Honi’s demands? Could it be that Honi was not being a spoiled brat but was actually acting in great faith? Isn’t it faith that moves the heart and hand of God? Jesus couldn’t resist faith. He never denied a faith-filled request-not once. What is faith? What does it look like in prayer? Is it simply an acknowledgement that God exists or does it go much deeper than that? How are faith and prayer related? Could it be that prayer takes faith and faith puts a demand on God? Could it be that prayer is more than just asking God for something, but actually expecting that because He is good and keeps His Word that He will give us what we asked for? 

We may never understand everything about how prayer works in the Kingdom of God until we are living in the age to come. Still, there is plenty that the Bible says can happen, should happen, and that happened in past history that is not happening in my life. If God is no respector of persons, then that tells me that it's possible in my life as well. It seems to me that there is  alot of prayer going on in the world and very little happening that we can see. I don't believe that prayer was meant solely to be an exercise in waiting, or patience, or blind trust. I think prayer is for the purpose of seeing results, of seeing God's Kingdom on earth as it was intended when Christ brought it here. This is what turns the head of the skeptical, unbelieving sinner. 

Now I know that by now, your religious alarm bells may be going off! Oh no! Not that name it-claim it, blab it-grab it faith stuff! But just hang with me! If we want to have God's power in prayer, then we better understand God’s rules of prayer. We had better understand what scripture really says about prayer. Try reading the red letters and doing them! Go ahead! Experiment. Even if it makes you step out of your comfort zone! (Swimming upstream is never easy!) Wrestle with the parts that are hard or are not your experience. Be willing to take responsibility when the fault lies with you and make adjustments.   If these red letters are not a reality, ask God why? Don’t we want to have all that Jesus bled and died for us to have? Don’t we want to live in the power and blessing of the Kingdom of God that was ushered in with the coming of Christ? I don’t want one drop of His precious blood to be wasted on my ignorance. I don't want the Holy Spirit to be inactive in my prayer life. If there is power available for me to live and see God’s power in my life and the lives of others, I want it! Don't  you?

Step 3: Faith-our part in the prayer process. This is our next stop on this red-letter journey.

Below: My little miracle baby today! 
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Players, Ponderings,and the Possibilities of Prayer/Red-Letter Journey Stop #1

7/30/2020

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I’ve been doing a lot of pondering lately. As I thought about the account of Moses and the children of Israel in the desert, I pondered how the Israelites, having just been delivered from the oppression of Egypt, having just come through the Red Sea on dry land, and after spending 3 days sanctifying themselves in anticipation and preparation for meeting God Himself, could so quickly get to the place of worshipping a pagan image. How could they dance under the shadow of Mt. Sinai at the same time God was meeting with Moses, celebrating amidst the noise, smoke, fire and thunder of God's very presence? And why are we so prone to forget and wander from God, forgetting all that He has done and putting our trust in everything but Him? 

I pondered on what true conversion and salvation looks like, how the Bible defines it, and how it is necessary for citizenship in the Kingdom of God (but not necessarily the modern definition of church). This was after reading a question posed by my Pastor when he raised the question of the difference between being a follower of Jesus and being a fan of Jesus. I pondered the difference between the church of God and the Kingdom of God.  (More to come on that too!)

But today, after reading just the red letters of my Bible, I want to begin to broach the topic of prayer answers, or lack thereof, of asking and receiving, of faith and doubt, of the role players in prayer, and the possibilities in prayer. 

Haven’t we all asked the “Whys?” of unanswered prayer and hard circumstances? Why God? Why this? Why now? Why me? I know I have. I don’t particularly think that it’s wrong to ask God questions, however, I do think it’s wrong to question God, to question His ability, motives and His methods. That only leads to bitterness, doubt and unbelief and is a dangerous place. Yet, at times, things happen that cause us to grow suspicious of what God is doing. His ways are higher than ours, His thoughts massively deeper than ours, and are done with an eternal purpose (a Kingdom purpose) in mind which may tax our ability to understand His eternal idea in the temporal. And although I do believe that God is sovereign, I don’t use that excuse to neglect my investigation of why things happen to me and what God wants me to learn, grow in, or change as a result. I don’t allow myself to think that I have no control of my own life because it is obvious from scripture that our lives are planned by God, but we have some input, the scripts can be altered. Prayer changes things.  

I worked with a young lady whose life motto was “Everything happens for a reason.” It was a glib expression that she used everytime something bad happened to her. What I never understood was why she never took it one step further. She never tried to find out what the reason was. Seriously, I could have helped her out so many times if she would have asked but she continued in her self-imposed ignorance, rendering herself a particle in the chaotic cosmos of life, floating along as helplessly as a dried leaf floats down a fast moving stream. I am someone who wants to understand the “Whys?” of life, even if it proves me to be at fault. Even if it hurts. That’s called growth! That doesn’t mean that God has explained every bad thing that has ever happened to me, because He hasn’t (yet), but He has shown me many times when I was partially, or totally ignorant or complicit in them and I was able to make adjustments so that they could be avoided in the future. I’ve also found that the understanding the truth helps ease some of the angst that comes with hard times and gives me hope for the future. 

I’m sure that Zacharius, after questioning God’s ability while ministering in the temple, never did that again. After being rendered mute for his wife’s entire pregnancy, I bet he learned his lesson. Just think of it. When Elizabeth wanted pickles and ice cream, he just had to go get them because he couldn’t tell her to go get them herself. Can you imagine having to go through the first pregnancy, at their age, without being able to say one word? Just having to listen to her complain of back pain, swollen feet, stretch marks and not being able to tell his buddies how much he was suffering too? Wow! What a predicament! LOL! While Elizabeth was telling everyone what a miracle her baby was, Zacharius was prevented from saying one word of his experience in the temple and boy, what a story he had to tell. 

Meanwhile, in another town, after hearing even more incredible news from the angel, Mary, fully believing what the angel said was possible and would happen, simply questioned the “Hows?” of his message. I have to admit, I would probably have the same questions as she did because let’s face it, she was going to be asking people to believe the unbelievable when most would just believe that she got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Afterall, there had been no miracles in Israel for 400 years, unless you believe the legends of people like Honi who slept for 70 years in an old tree trunk and who drew a circle around himself in the dust and vowed not to leave it until God answered his prayer. And that story is what got me to thinking about prayer and answers to prayer. 

Honi, a Jewish scholar of the first century and a supposed miracle worker, petitioned God for rain when the rainy season was late in coming and vowed not to step outside the circle until God sent it. According to the legend, he stayed in the circle until God sent rain and when God did send rain, then he complained that it was too hard of a rain, so God changed it to a nice, soaking rain. (Boy could we use this man in Centre County these days!  Instead, we have Moses living somewhere incognito in the area and he parts the waters of every rain storm that heads our way! Sorry, I got a little distracted by the drought!) Some people felt that Honi was irreverent in his prayer, making demands upon the Lord. Who did he think he was? But if the legend is true, it worked! And that is when my mind began to ponder. I began to think about desperate prayer, something our Pastor speaks of frequently. I began to think about making requests in prayer vs. making a demand in prayer. Obviously, this man put a demand on God, and God answered. He didn’t pray some flowery prayer softening God up with some praise and worship and meekly asking if God wouldn’t please send some rain, not too much, not too little, piously praying Proverbs 30:7-9, and adding at the end, “if it be Thy Will.” Of course, this is a legend and not Biblical truth. So I began to look in scripture at the prayers people have prayed and at the times when prayers were answered. I began to think about our position as children of the Kingdom and what rights, responsibilities and privileges that affords us. I began to remember the times I have been desperate in prayer, when I’ve taken authority over the works of the devil in prayer, when I’ve seen instantaneous miracles in prayer, and of all the answers to prayer I’ve received through the years. But mostly, I pondered who it is that I prayed to and what He has said about prayer and frankly, I think Honi was on to something. 

So, if this has piqued your interest, stay tuned. In the next couple of weeks, I will be sharing more on this and the other things I have been pondering as well because if I know anything about my Pappa God, they all fit together for a reason that is going to change my life! 

What from God's Word have you been pondering lately? I hope you have a place as lovely as the pond in the photo to do your "pondering." My husband and I often walk these grounds and discuss what God is showing us from His Word, inbetween photos, of course. My hubs is so patient with me. I just can't "see a photo" without at least trying to capture it with my camera. Oh, the life of an artsy-fartsy girl but you have to admit, God puts some beautiful art out there for us to enjoy and I want to remember every single piece of it.

Until next blog, could I suggest spending some time in God’s Word? Maybe you too, could read just the red letters of the New Testament. Or perhaps look up every reference to asking, seeking, knocking, prayer. Read the new testament and record every prayer answer and every request that was answered by Jesus. Find out if Jesus ever refused to answer when faith was present. Find out if Jesus ever refused to heal. Find out what Jesus said about faith. What He said about prayer. What He said IN prayer. Put a demand on the Holy Spirit to do what He does best, teaching and revealing the Word of God to your heart. I would be so bold to say that when He’s done, your life won’t be the same either.

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The Lamplight Life

7/11/2020

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Did you ever feel like you are in limbo? Like your whole life is up in the air and you dont know how it's going to shake out? Like you're in a waiting room and everyone else's name has been called but yours? Like you're just doing nothing for God because alot the ways you served Him before are no longer part of your life's routine? Like you've lost your sphere of influence? Do you worry that you're wasting time while you struggle and pray to find a new normal because nothing in life feels normal anymore?
I've been feeling that way lately. But then I realize that time spent seeking God is never wasted time. He's heard and answered every prayer even if I don't see it yet. He does not see time as I do. What's 60 years to an eternal God? In His economy, I might not have waited very long at all.
Perhaps He is just enjoying having my undivided attention, where I'm just with Him instead of being busy doing things for Him. He has not let a single word I've spoken to Him go unheard. He has not let a single tear fall to the ground. He has kept every one and they are precious to Him.
Starting over or heading a different direction is daunting. There's so much that doesn't feel comfortable because it's new and different and unfamiliar.
I am full of desire to be busy about His business. In my heart, I want to be salt to the whole earth and light to the entire world and as I ponder how to do this, its almost overwhelming. But the key to re-starting is to start small, in my own home, to continue being light to all who enter there. That is more challenging than it sounds because home is where the real me is revealed but it's also where I can have the most impact.
So for today, I will shine as brightly as I can as the oil of His grace fuels my flame. I will surrender my tomorrow into His loving, capable hands and I will follow one day at a time even though I dont know where I'm headed. "But I do know who I have believed and I am persuaded that He is able to keep what I've committed into Him until the day of His return."

Disciples and the World - “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor d...

BIBLEGATEWAY.COM
Bible Gateway passage: Matthew 5:13-16 - New American Standard Bible
Disciples and the World - “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for…
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Is He Enough?

7/6/2020

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In his sermon a few weeks ago, our Pastor asked the question, "Is Jesus enough?" If the only thing that God offered us was the knowledge of the Savior, would that be enough for us to be willing to give everything that we have to obtain it? Would we be willing to give up all the other blessings that we currently enjoy to just have Jesus? Would we be willing to sell our houses and go into the unknown just to have Him in His fullness or is He just something we have added to our lives to enhance them? Is He more than fire insurance? Would He be enough? That is a compelling question. Corrie Ten Boom said that "You can never learn that Christ is all you need until Christ is all you have." She certainly knew this truth in her life's deepest experience. What is my experience? Have I ever really been to the place where Christ was all I had? Have I found Christ to be all that I need in the darkest, deepest valleys of life? More importantly, do the mountaintop blessings and the comforts and acquisitions of life that He has so graciously provided for me pale in comparison to knowing Him? If it was all taken away, would I find that He is all that I want? Am I in love with the Blesser or the blessings? In 1999, after a devastating car accident that left two of my 4 children brain injured, I went to an appointment at the school district office to review test results for my daughter who was starting kindergarten just 3 months after being released from the hospital. They were devastating. My formerly bright, engaging, athletic, witty 5-year-old was barely functioning on the level of a two-year-old. To add to my distress, they informed me that they didn’t know much about working with brain injuries so they were sending a counselor to take a class so that they could better meet her needs. No brain injury is the same. Even the doctors can’t give you any definitive promises concerning them. Their efforts did little to reassure me. As I left the meeting, I was distraught so I headed for my church building and sat down at the piano and began to play and worship because at that moment, Jesus was the only one that could help me and the only one that could help my daughter. As I worshipped, the Spirit of God began to minister to my heart and this chorus flowed out of me. I love to worship You
Worship at Your feet, Lord
Bow down to Your Name
And tell You that I love You
If the seas would turn to dust
And all time would pass away
I’d still be at Your feet
Worshipping You Lord Even though I wrote that chorus 20 years ago, it still ministers to me and in more recent times, it has been more of a declaration at times as I have had to let go of things that have long been blessings in my life, as I find my new normal. It has been my battle cry when I’ve felt like I just can’t go one more step. It’s been a song of resolution when hope seems far away from my situation, when it seems God’s ear is deaf to my pleas and my emotions are trying to convince me that He doesn’t care. Deep down, I know that He is enough. He is more than enough. He truly is all that I need. In Habakkuk 3, the prophet knows that tragedy is coming to Judah because they have forgotten God. He was no longer enough for them. They were distracted by other things and leaning on their own strength and not honoring the Word of God. And so God was raising up the Chaldean army to come and carry them away captive. After hearing the vision, as scripture says, Habakkuk’s response was this: Though the fig tree should not blossom, and there be no fruit on the vines, though the yield of the olive tree should fail, and the fields produce no food, though the flock should be cut off from the fold, and there be no cattle in the stalls, YET I WILL EXULT IN THE LORD, I WILL REJOICE IN THE GOD OF MY SALVATION. THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH AND HE HAS MADE MY FEET LIKE HINDS’ FEET, AND MAKES ME WALK ON MY HIGH PLACES. For Habakkuk, for Corrie Ten Boom, for Elizabeth Elliot, for Paul and Silas in the Philippian jail, for the Apostle Peter, for Dietrich Bonhoeffer, for all those who have been imprisoned and martyred for Christ, HE IS ENOUGH. HE IS ALL THEY NEED. HE IS EVERYTHING. And the secret is found in the last part of verse 19. “The Lord is my strength, and HE HAS MADE my feet like hinds’ feet, and makes me walk on my high places.” So when I find myself feeling unsettled, discontent, weak, wallowing in self-pity, and pondering on doubts in my mind, it is then I know that I must rely on His strength to pull me out of where I am and up to the place of being seated in heavenly places with Him because from there I can see more clearly the whole picture. It's there that I know that Jesus is all that matters and everything that I need is found in what only He can provide. He is supreme and the center of everything. It’s then I know that the only important thing I have to do with my life is to be at His feet, worshipping and allowing His life to flow to me and then through me to a world that needs to know that He is enough.

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Surrender Forward

5/16/2020

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Surrender forward. What a choice of words. My Pastor said that God has given us this "sabbath pause", otherwise known as Coronavirus to give us a spiritual reset. It's a time to examine our "normal" and decide if we want to return to it or to "surrender forward."   It almost sounds like an oxymoron. In war, surrender is synonymous with failure and defeat. There’s no such thing as surrendering forward. Yet, to me, it is one of those Biblical paradoxes that arrests my attention and bemuses my mind. It causes me to settle into Kingdom thinking that far exceeds my own earthly comprehension.

Changes in routine, like the Covid19 quarantine, can cause feelings of isolation, boredom, or hysteria. It exposes vulnerabilities that in normal times, we can suppress, ignore, or hide. We grow restless, or worse, when our usual distractions are taken away and we are left with nothing but our thoughts and the realities of life. There is time and often need for self-examination and reflection of where we’ve been, where we are, and in what direction we’re headed. It’s in these times that we can have the clarity to hear what the Spirit is trying to say. His words may be hard, even unbearable. Running away may look really appealing. And while movement may be required, away is not an option because when we run, we run with what He was wanting to address. We can return to where we were. Neither of these options will produce change. Or, we can choose to move forward in surrender to His plan. The Christian life is never static. It is either surrendering forward or sliding back. There’s no resting place or arriving point on this side of Glory. The war will rage until the King of Peace comes to earth and makes peace and we, my friends, are embroiled in this battle, whether we want to be or not. 

Returning to “normal” as many are desiring, will only bring us back around to where we are now. That may be okay for some people but as one who sees a need for personal change, surrendering forward is the only option. Depending on where you are coming from, that may look very scary. You may feel your plate is already full of trouble and brokenness and what if surrendering forward will only add to where you are now before bringing you through to goodness? God will always take what the enemy means for evil and bring good out of it, but what is frightening is that we don’t know what route He will take to get us there or if we can possibly have the stamina to do it. The struggle is real. I know. I’ve been there. I am there. I don’t like to admit that I sometimes get a little suspicious of God, but I do.  I know that He is for me but I don’t always understand His methods. And sometimes, His methods don’t make sense. And most times, His methods are not easy on my flesh. 

In her book “Uninvited”, Lysa Terkeurst poses the following questions. Do I think God is good? Do I think God is good to me? Do I think that God is good at being God? I’ve been seriously pondering these questions, conducting an honest examination of where I have been in life and what my future might look like. I’m taking a look at the “Covid19 “unedited version” of myself and allowing God to point His light fingers at the parts of my heart that, on a normal day, I try to hide from Him. He’s pulling out the things that I push way down because they’re painful or shameful to look at. I especially don’t want to discuss them with Him! But truth be told, they are there and they affect me more than I realize. They have, in many ways, determined my “normal” up to this point. They have to come into the light of God’s love. And when they do, God does what He does best. He takes them and replaces them with healing and goodness and peace. Not temporary peace, not false peace, but peace that resides, that abides and is constant, no matter my circumstances and no matter what my “forward” looks like. And now, more than ever, people need the peace that only comes from Him and through Him. 

As I was walking by the creek, I was reciting Psalm 23 out loud and thinking about how each stanza applies to my life. The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing! He leads me to places of refreshment and nourishment so that my life is good. Even in the dark shadows, I don’t fear. His rod protects me and His staff keeps me close to Him. He prepares a table for me and lets my enemies know that I am His prized possession and he marks me with the oil of His Holy Spirit. Not only do I lack nothing, but I have all that I need in abundance. Surely, definitely, absolutely, without a doubt, goodness and mercy (neither of which I deserve), will follow me all the days of my life.

So what will my response be?  I will “lean in” and let my walls down before God. He knows my heart and loves me anyway. His eyes see through to everything I am trying to hide, even to the things I have tried to hide from myself. The things I’ve put away to deal with another day, in Scarlet O’Hara fashion, need to be put on the table. I’m running to Him, not from Him. Isolation only brings trouble. The devil loves us to isolate ourselves from God and each other. It’s where he does his best work. Eve was without Adam in the garden when the devil deceived her. And in this time of uncertainty in life, I must trust that God is good to me. I must believe that He is good at being God. And as Lysa adds, that “Today is yet another page in our great love story.” .



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Speaking Your Heart

2/27/2020

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While waiting to leave for Bible study this morning, I picked up a book “Putting Your Heart On Paper” by Henriette Anne Klauser that I got as a freebie from a giveaway site on Facebook. Although it is about writing, the sentiment was also applicable to our spiritual lives. For me, writing is very much a spiritual event as I feel compelled to write words that will encourage and uplift. Ephesians 4:29 says:

29 And never let ugly or hateful words come from your mouth, but instead let your words become beautiful gifts that encourage others; do this by speaking words of grace to help them.

I love the way that’s worded-”let you words become beautiful gifts that encourage others; do this by speaking words of grace to help.” I truly believe there are not enough grace words in this world today. Life is hard. Scripture clearly states that “in the last days, things will grow worse and worse” or “worser and worser as one of my grandsons would say. How true that has become in the 60 years I have had on this earth. 

Sometimes when we start a new writing project, we don’t know how to start. She suggests that the trick to getting started writing is simply to write. She said that when you sit down to share your heart, you often say what you didn’t even know you had to say.. You don’t need to know the end to begin.. You don’t even need to know the beginning to begin. Just begin even if the first thing you say is “I don’t know how to begin.” She suggests going to your writing with an empty, open hand, with questions and let the writing answer.

Then she said something I absolutely love. “It’s what you know after you know it all that counts. Putting your heart on paper is about so much more than writing. It’s about living a life that is connected with others.” 

I couldn’t help but think that these ideas are so true when it comes to prayer. If you are having trouble praying, just pray. 

~Even if your first sentence is God, I don’t know what to say. That’s okay because the Holy Spirit is our helper. 
~Even if you hurt so badly, no words will come out. God sees and knows your hurt and your heart. He’s there,    He cares
~Even if you don’t know where to go in prayer or what to pray about. He will lead you and you will be surprised and delighted at where He takes you sometimes.
~Even if you don’t have anything good to say. He just wants to be with you.
~Even if everything is wonderful and you have no requests. He is wonderful and loves it when you tell Him so.

And when you and He are done talking, you will know thing, things that He said to you that no one can take away.  Prayer is so much more religious activity or a spiritual 911 call. It’s about connecting with God, knowing Him, enjoying Him, understanding Him, seeing Him for who He really is. 

The finished product of prayer is a deeper love, a more peaceful heart, and a changed life. 

So today, even if you don’t know how or what to pray, just pray. He’s waiting to meet and talk with you. 

​
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Eager Watching

11/2/2019

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Are you living in a desperate situation that never resolves, no matter what you do? You've tried absolutely everything humanly possible. You tried everything within your power and the power of others you've enlisted in the stuggle. You've wasted hours and hours looking for a solution like a squirrel looking for a nut to bury for the winter stockpile. You've cried oceans of tears. You've thought and thought and thought trying to figure it out but your thoughts only fall over each other and you end up in a heap on your face. You've begged, pleaded, bargained, and bribed. You've bent and twisted, almost to the point of compromise, or perhaps into compromise. You've been beyond desperate and back again. And still the answer doesn't come. In fact, the situation seems to be getting worse.  And of course, you've prayed and prayed and prayed, hitting it from every angle with what you hope will be the key to unlock the mystery that will bring the situation to a God glorifying, pain stopping end.

Every morning when you wake up, you immediately feel the stress and gravity of the situation assaulting your mind and twisting your already anxious, bruised heart. You arise to face the day with a two ton weight in your chest. By evening, after a day of ardent, constant battle, you are totally exhausted but sleep won't come and you toss and turn and wrestle through the night, reminding the Lord that you need to sleep if you want to face tomorrow in strength. You remind Him again of the situation that continues seemingly unnoticed by His all seeing eye. 

Eventually, when the only words you have left to say to anyone are, "I'm so tired", you come to realize that you can't fix it. You need a miracle. It seems that you're back to square one. All the work you've done so far seems to mean nothing. You acknowledge to yourself and God that HE is the only answer. If He, and only He, doesn't intervene, it will end in disaster and life altering heartache. It's at this point that you take one last look making sure that there isn't one more thing you can try and you throw it up in the air and say to God, here, take it. I put it in your capable, loving hands. 

This process can take days, weeks, or if you're anything like me, years. You reason that surely a mature Christian should be able to unravel this riddle and bring the right answer to light. After all, faith perseveres, right?

In the morning, O Lord, You will hear my voice;
In the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch. Ps. 5:3

Herein lies our answer and our victory. Each morning, you wake and immediately say to God, Here it is. I put it in your loving, capable hands." 

Lysa Turkerust wrote a similar prayer that I like better. 
"Lord, I need Your peace. That's why I'm handing this entire situation over to You. Humble me. Keep me from being wise in my own eyes. Show me what steps to take. And help me to trust You with this every.single.day. In Jesus' Name, Amen. 

After you pray this prayer, you watch. Watch for what? Watch to know that God is working in your situation.

This can come in many ways. It may be a word spoken to you. It may be a verse that jumps off His Word and slaps you in the face and says THIS is your word for today. It may be confirmation from another who "happened" to pray the same exact prayer on the same exact day as you without any communication between the two of you. Or it may just be that you know that when you pray to Him, God hears and if God hears, He answers. 

Be warned! Progress is not evidence or lack of evidence that God is working. It is so easy to see progress and shift our faith from God to the progress. Desperate situations are very fluid. They ebb and flow. The move forward and slip back. Putting your faith in progress will take your emotions all over the map and your faith will waver. Our faith must remain in one that we are trusting in for a miracle. He's the one who knows things that we do not know. He understands how things need to work. They may look worse before they get better and we must remember that night is darkest right before the dawn. But we must never lose hope. We must learn to let go without giving up. 

When this is your everyday, you can experience increased peace, joy and hope every morning as you pray this simple prayer. Can you just put it in God's hands and just forget about it the rest of the day? Rarely, if you are me, but I am leanring to find the balance between that and spending my days in anxiety and frantic praying. When the situation comes to mind, I simply remember that God took that from me first thing in the morning and that His hands are working on it and I can worship and thank Him for the resolution. I know where I am. I know where He's promised to take me. What I don't know is what lies inbetween those two points, but He does and He will walk with me every step of the way. In that, I have peace because I know that my Father can do anything and He will, just because I am eagerly waiting for Him to delight me by answering my request. 
​






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New Beginnings

8/1/2019

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It was beautiful weather for a walk this morning. The clouds overhead provided a cool canopy as I got underway down the trail. I started out gingerly as my muscles screamed from yesterday’s squats and leg presses but I soon forgot about my legs as a chorus of song birds distracted me. One bird seemed to be telling me to  “walk down, walk back”, which is what I do each morning in my 3+ mile jaunt. Admittedly, the first few minutes of every morning, I am captivated by the beauty of the trees, vegetation, and the smell of the woods, water, and flowering plants that line the path. Soon though, my thoughts rise from the splendor of creation to thoughts of the creator that made it all. 

I’ve been praying about a situation that weighs heavy in my life. As I prayed, I asked God for a new beginning. Immediately my mind went to Genesis 1:1. “In the beginning”, the very beginning of time but not the beginning of God, He created the heavens and the earth. I thought of the sun. God spoke and the sun was created. I thought of the power of the sun and of how long the sun has burned without going out. I considered the force of it brightness and its consuming heat. That ball of continual, fiery, energy with its searing power came into being by one word spoken from God’s mouth. That’s power! “In the beginning”, God spoke and a force as potent and violent as the sun was created...out of nothing but a word. I marveled at the power that has to be present for something like that to happen and realized it can be found in the voice of God when He speaks just one word.

This is the same God who walks with me everyday, who put His Spirit inside of me, and who cares about every minute detail of my life. He is the captain of my life. He is the same God who chose a new beginning for mankind when He instructed Noah to build an ark and Moses to cross the Red Sea. This God is the one who redeemed Israel over and over again as He continually called them back to Himself. He is the same God that gave the Apostle Paul a new beginning and used him to change the world. He is the same God that redeemed Peter back to himself so that he could begin again to declare that Jesus saves! He is the same God that redeemed mankind by sacrificing His own Son that I might have a way to communicate and fellowship with Him. That’s powerful!  As I pondered this, another bird call rang out and it seemed to be saying “I need Him, I need Him” and I joined in his chorus and began to tell God, “I need you, I need you!” I need a new beginning. I am desperate for a new beginning, and as I did this, I felt His powerful peace wash over my heart just as the water rushes over the rocks when it makes its way downstream. I pictured in my mind’s eye God taking my burden and carrying it away downstream to a place where it will never return. What comfort I gain from putting my burdens in God’s hands and watching what He creates from them. He is a God of new beginnings. He always has been. He always will be. 

I thought of my daughter. That girl was born with more spunk than most and she was a huge hand full during her toddler years. While my  three babies slept in the afternoon, I would lie on my bed and cry out to God, asking Him what to do to harness this young lioness He had given me. Often I would tiptoe into her room and lay my hands on her and pray because quite frankly, I was at my wit’s end with her. One day, I laid her down after a particularly difficult morning, laying my hands on her and asked God for what I thought would have to be a miracle in her life. When she woke up from her nap, she was an entirely different person and she continued to be an entirely different person from that day forward. When my parents came to visit, they noticed a profound change in her and asked, “Who is this child and what have you done with our granddaughter?” That is the power of God. He is still at work today creating new beginnings for those who look to Him, for those who need a miracle, for me and you.

​
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"Living Under The Gaze Of One"

3/26/2019

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Lydia Brownback has written some wonderful books. In her book "Flourish", she wrote a chapter entitled "Set Free From Self-consciousness". In it she says many profound things but in all of them she drives home the certainty we can live free ONLY if the center of our focus is Christ. You might be saying, "well, duh, that is a given", but she gets down to the nitty-gritty of what that really means.

She so eloquently brings out the point that to make Christ the center, He must be all there is. We are dead in Christ and only He lives. She calls it the "Freedom of self-forgetfulness". She says "When we are driven by a concern for how people perceive Christ, we can live free from the bondage of what people think of us." You see, "Jesus won us freedom from ourselves!" That's good news!

Self-consciousness is a prison that we make for ourselves. It compares us to others. It makes us feel the need to be spiritual enough, pretty enough, fit enough, talented enough, successful enough, to be good enough parents, to have a certain type of house, car, purse, clothing or standard of living, to act a certain way depending on whose presence we happen to be in, to be cool enough to fit in at the cocktail parties of our colleagues YET spiritual enough to fit into the prayer meeting at church without compromising our beliefs or tarnishing our reputation or witness, to be the kind of person that people look at and see the value just oozing off of us. The problem is, we don't see any value in ourselves unless validated by other people, a slippery slope that only leads to pressure and anxiety and a constant state of unrest in our souls. We decide what we wear, how we look, where we go, what we do and how we do it by comparing ourselves to our family, friends, neighbors, and culture much more than we realize. In essence, we make decisions based on what they will think of us. 

Now you can take that too far as well in having an I-don't-care-what-ANYONE-thinks kind of attitude as well, which for the most part, is self-consciousness hiding behind a defensive shield.

I read so many profiles on facebook that have statements that talk about how Christ has made us valuable and that is where our self-esteem comes from, but that still puts the focus on us trying to convince others that we matter. The fact is, we are not valuable in any way. Christ is valuable and the fact that we are in Him does not make us valuable. It makes us blessed, mercifully and compassionately blessed. We can't enhance or increase His value. We can only let that value the is HIM shine though us as we take Him everywhere we go. 

Lydia says "Happiness comes from not being well thought of but by thinking less of ourselves altogether. Fear of man is craving to please ourselves,; we want people to admire us so we can feel valuable and important. But God is the one whose value and importance we are called to showcase." Oh, I love that! 

We must, as she says, "live under the gaze of one", but oh, who that one is! For me, that just makes it simple. There is such freedom in living dead! 

Tim Keller calls this "gospel-humility." He says "The essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less. Gospel-humilty is not needing to think about myself...True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself."

And what is the result? Oh, this is so good! "As we trust, we stop viewing others as a measure of ourselves but as people to love. We stop using them and start serving them. We are meant to focus on others, just not with ourselves as the reference point."

As I thought about my own life, my social media presence, our ministry, my life as a parent and as a friend, I was challenged, disappointed and encouraged all at the same time. Although there are many things I would have and will endeavor to do differently in the future, I was struck by the simplicity/complexity of the solution. The answer is so simple yet as a human, so complex because it involves just giving it all up and laying it all down on a daily basis-from one FaceBook post to the next, from one conversation to the next, from one purchase decision to the next, from one thought to the next, from one confession/declaration to the next, from one minute to the next. We are constantly bombarded by things in media, the workplace, the neighborhood and yes, sadly, even the church, that make us stop and take a look at us when all we really need to do is look at HIM! 

I found this so convicting, so helpful, and so freeing today that I just had to share it. 



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The More You Know

10/25/2018

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For the past 3 years, I have spent my lunch hour at a small stretch of creek that runs through Happy Valley. Weather and wardrobe permitting, I stroll along the same path that runs between the creek and the marsh. I cross the same two footbridges and walk beneath the same tree that has fallen into the crook of another tree on the other side of the path, forming a mystical looking arch. I stop to sit on the same rocks that give me close access to where the water rushes against the rocks and shoots bubbly spray into the air as it falls to the other side. To me, the sound of the water is like heavenly music. I don't think its any accident that there is a river running right through the middle of heaven in the book of Revelation. I have no Biblical basis to say this, but when I picture heaven in my mind, I imagine that the water there will sing, just as I believe it does here on earth. 

You would think that after all these years, I would grow tired of this place, but I don't. You see, I've learned that this place is teeming with life and although much of it might look the same from day to day, there is always something new or different that I see when I go there. 

I might see the muskrat grabbing plants from the water for a noonday snack, or a hummingbird snatching fluff from last years cattails, or a water snake slithering by my feet as it works it's ways downstream. In the spring, it's whatever wild flower has chosen to bloom that wasn't blooming yesterday and in the fall it's the migration of the birds that brings uncommon visitors to the water's edge. In the dead of winter, it is paw prints in the snow that tell me who was there during the night.  With all this activity, it is definitely worth all the re-visits that I make.

Often when I come, I sit within the sound of the water and read God's Word. Just like the creek, His Word is alive and active. No matter how many times I read it, there are always new things that I see. Verses jump off the page as the Lord ministers to my heart in a new and fresh way. Sometimes it is for my comfort and encouragement. Other times for correction and guidance but every time, it thrills me to hear the voice of God speaking right to my heart. Just as the creek is a daily habit because I love it and I feel as if I've missed out if I don't go, so God's Word is even more my daily habit and one that I not only love and enjoy, but that I need if I want to live a peace- filled life. And like the creek, the more time I spend in His Word, the more I want to spend time in His Word. 

Some people see the Bible as a novel-when you've read it, you read it. From time to time they go back and read their favorite parts. Others think that they have understood and gleaned all they can from it or that it's just too hard to understand at all. That is because they have not really understood that it contains more than just words. It IS life to the heart, soul and spirit. As we interact with the Word, God interacts with us.

If we say that we love Jesus but the Word does not interest us, we lie to ourselves. You see, it clearly states that Jesus and the Word are one. To interact with the Word of God is to interact with Jesus. To know the Word is to know God's heart and to discern God's will. It is like the creek. It looks the same on the surface, but if you take the time to study it, you will find that it will speak to you in so many different ways. 

It is our daily bread. We need to eat every day or we will become emaciated and weak. Then we become prey for the enemy. None of us find eating a chore or a burden. Reading and praying is not a burden for the person who truly loves the Lord. It is like sitting down to a good meal and eating until we are stuffed. The more that we allow God to speak to us, the closer we grow in our relationship with Him. There is no greater joy!


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