Atypical Pastors Wife
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Noise From The Barnyard

This is where family and friends hang out and discuss world events, family happenings, valley news and things I'm "moosing" about.  It's the day to day across the fence chatter.

Now That's The Life!

12/17/2015

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... for now we really live, if you stand firm in the Lord.

What is living to you? Is it driving a new car, living in a big house, vacationing when you want to, accomplishing all the things on your bucket list? Perhaps it's an accomplish that will outlive you-your name or an invention? How would you define "really living?" Some use this cliche rather flippantly. Really living might be as simple as sitting on the back porch with a good book and some cold tea or as complex as being self employed in some lucrative business where you have no one telling you what to do. How many times have we said "Ahhhh, this is the life?" or said of someone else "boy, don't they have the life?"

Seriously what is a proper definition of living? According to the Apostle Paul, it is none of the above. In 1 Thessalonians 3:8 Paul defined what true living is. According to Paul, it's what you have received and what you have passed on.

We are conduits of God's message.  It didn't originate with us. We will not be credited or get the glory from it. People will not look back on us and say Wow, they really lived! In fact, if we do it right, they will say "Wow, they really gave and sacrificed."

Paul's life success was based on the reception and retention of his message. We are successful if we do what God instructs, but we are really living if the message is received and lived out in the next generation. It was life to Paul to know that all his trials and tribulations were not in vein and that he had made an eternal difference.

When eternal differences are made, that is living because eternal differences produce eternal life! It thrills the Lord. Paul knew that something he did was going to last for eternity. This was his legacy. Lives brought from darkness into an eternity with God. Nothing else will really matter in the end. We work so hard to build our lives but we should really stop and examine what we are doing. Is there any eternal value in it? Is it going to produce fruit that remains through all eternity?

Are we really living?

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A Prisoner of Self

12/9/2015

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​I vividly remember the day I got saved. Unlike many, I got saved in church. I’m not talking about walking to the front and mindlessly repeating a prayer although I did those things. I’m talking about being changed and leaving that place knowing that I was very different than I had been when I entered.

I remember the drawing of the Holy Spirit as He reasoned with me about the state of my heart. I’ve had people tell me that because I didn’t weep and wail over all of my sin, I wasn’t truly saved. But Andrew Murray explained  in his book Abide in Christ, the many ways people come to God. I had always been a good girl. I was obedient to my parents and a good student. I had a “bent” towards God and always was curious and desirous of the Christian life so I lived as well as I knew to live and hoped that it would please Him. For most people their idea of who God is and how He operates comes from the relationship they had with their own Fathers and I was not different.

My father is a good man. He worked hard. He provided for us well. He sacrificed to provide all that he did and we always felt cared for and loved. When he would have rather sat and enjoyed the porch swing, he walked around the neighborhood with me as I chatted and eventually grew tired and ended up on his shoulders for the trip home. When he would have rather watched football, instead he played football with us in the yard. He planned vacations for us every summer and spared no expense to insure that we had a good time, often working long hours of overtime to pay for them. He was always willing to play a game or help with a school project. If we showed an interest or ability in something, he gladly paid for lessons…..music lessons, art lessons, and classes. He and my mother picked me up after school everyday so that I could be on the track and basketball team. They were present at every meet and game as well. Even when I went to college, they never missed a home game.

My father, as most Dads,  also had a temper. What seemed to me, as a young girl, a rather explosive one. I feared my father. He wasn’t abusive, he just got really angry and it was frightening to me. I treaded lightly around him and when I forgot to, I usually experienced some harsh words or punishment. I hated to disappoint him because I loved him and respected his authority.  Because of this, I was probably spared many a hardship because I feared what the consequences might be if I did something wrong but I always was a little reserved in my emotions around him. I still am even though he has mellowed a whole bunch as he has aged. My Dad is also smart and has learned a lot of things through trial and error and self teaching. So naturally when it came to helping us kids learn something, he always felt that he knew best and that his way was best. I understand now that he was just trying to help us not have to reinvent the wheel, but at the time I just never felt as if I measured up. It seemed that no matter what I did, it just wasn’t quite as good as it could have been. I knew he was proud of my accomplishments but always felt that he would have been more pleased if I had gone a little further or deeper.

So when I came to God, I had that perception of Him as well. As I sat in that church that Sunday morning, I just felt like I couldn’t measure up. My marriage was nearly over and I had failed in my career. I didn’t feel as if I was deserving or even worthy of being loved. But as I sat there in the hushed silence of the morning prayer I heard God’s voice say to me “I love you and want to have a love relationship with you.” You can imagine what good news this was to me as I didn’t feel that anyone at that point of my life really loved me for me. I responded even before there was an altar call.  I don’t know that one was planned.  It may be that the minister saw me coming and thought the Spirit must be moving and gave one. It really doesn’t matter. What matters is that when I prayed I felt a heavy weight literally lift off my shoulders. In fact, it didn’t even feel like my feet were touching the floor when I walked out of that church that morning. Such a transformation had occurred that all I could do on the drive home was laugh! I knew that I had fully surrendered my life to the God and I knew he was pleased! I felt so alive, so fresh, so new!

I’d never heard this described by anyone else the same way until I read an article in Guidepost magazine written by Dean Jones, the actor who passed away recently.  He described that heavy burden that lifted off his shoulders as the weight of self. As I read it, I thought yes, that is exactly what happened to me! All the sudden I went from unworthy of love to being loved by the highest, greatest being that lives-God Himself. Oh what a thought! Where I felt I had failed people all my life, God was saying, I have not failed you. There is hope in me! And there was! While Dean Jones had lived much of his life searching for the one thing that would make him happy, I had spent all of my life trying to find my worth in the approval of others. We had both failed until we let go of self and grabbed hold of the love of God.

The first thing God did was save my husband. Together, we picked up the shattered pieces of our love and allowed the Holy Spirit to glue it all back together. I found that the Holy Spirit uses superglue.  In fact, He totally restored our marriage and relationship. Today, I adore my husband!  I long to spend as much time with him as humanly possible. We laugh together every day. I always tell him “you’re my world.” I delight in making him happy because He is who God has given me to care for. I’m truly happy in knowing that if I never accomplish anything worthy of worldly attention, I can know that have succeeded in that I have loved God and loved my husband well.

The second thing God did was free me from caring too much about what other people think about me. I do care about what others think, but I may not care about what they think about me. When customers cuss at me on the phone, it doesn’t bother me because I know that God loves me. When people mis-interpret what I do or say, I don’t lose any sleep over it. I do what I can to clear it up and then leave them to deal with their own selves concerning it. Even when I displease my husband, I realize that I’m human and people are not always going to be happy with me. I’m not always even happy with myself. I know now that none of these things change my worth to God one iota! His love is steadfast, unchanging and perfect. And nothing can separate me from His love. He loves me in spite of me.  That takes all the pressure off and just lets me be who He made me to be. That is true freedom!

No matter how much of an outcast you may think you are, I’m here to tell you that you do fit! You fit in the Kingdom of God. No matter how unloved or unlovely you may feel, you are loved with a perfect love and that perfect love casts out ALL fear! Life in God is peace and joy and contentment. Truly!
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Sometimes You Have To Stop And Think

12/9/2015

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​I am a very social person. My personality lends itself to interactions with other people.  Without them, I grow dull and lifeless. It's just the way I'm made.

I work in a secular business. Not one person in my office is a born again Christian. In fact, "fundies" are made fun of by some. I don't care because I wouldn't trade Christ for their roller coaster lives, their fancy cars or their feeling of superiority in this world because He's so much bigger than all of that!

Everyone in my office is very "nice." They do and say "nice" things to each other. They treat others "nicely." It's enjoyable to come to work with a minimum of drama amongst my co-workers. There's no awkward situation or silences. We all get along and work as a team. I can chit chat with anyone in my office and we both enjoy it. I am well liked by all my co-workers.

Some of the people in my office are very good friends. They do things together after work and on weekends. They visit at each other's desks during down times. Some days I feel a little left out and find myself wishing I had a close friend here. Then I stop myself and think about it.

I was more accepted before people found out that my husband is a minister. There was a marked difference in how I was treated before and after that little fact came to the light. Then people found out that I was a fundamental believer of the Bible and that alienated even more people. Since most idle conversation in my office is about drinking or tv shows that I don't watch, that kind of leaves me at a loss to chat a lot. When people forget that I'm here and start talking about immoral topics, they eventually come to their senses and look to see if I'm paying attention. Once a group of them went off on Pastor's kids and all of the sudden realized that I had Pastor's kids and they felt bad. There were a few observations I wanted to interject into that whole conversation but I pretended not to notice.

Some people might think that I am not melting into their world enough. I, on the other hand, know that they have a certain amount of respect for me because of my beliefs-most of them anyway. My job is not to assimilate myself into their world. That's what I left when I accepted Christ! Why would I want to go back there? My job is to yank them out of their world and into mine!

The Bible says that "bad company corrupts good manners." Jesus ministered to the masses, but He spent most of His time with the 12. Sometimes I just have to stop, think and remember that I am not of this world. I'm not going to fit in. I DON'T WANT TO FIT IN! I know that their rejection of me is not because of me. It's because of Christ and His teachings. On those days when I'm not included in gossip, immoral speech, and pettiness I need to remember to rejoice! God is pleased with me! When the "nice" people are collaborating, I need to remember that although they may be "nice", they are still lost! My friendships are within His body and what a great group of friends God has given me! I am blessed.

Just every now and then I have to stop and think!
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