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Fall Foliage Follies #2

10/27/2020

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We are so fortunate to live where we live. Our area, commonly known as Happy Valley is also called the five finger valleys. We have valleys long and thin that run all through the mountain range. Being the bird nerd that I am, I was drawn last weekend to Greenwood Furnace State Park area along Standing Stone Trail where a hawkwatch platform is located. It's migration season. The wind was perfect for raptor migration so my handsome hiking buddy and I tripped over the rocky ridge trail and spent some time on the platform with the counter. Yes, people actually sit all day long with binoculars and a scope and identify the types of birds they see migrating. I managed to last about an hour but that's as hard core as I am. Maybe a stronger pair of binoculars would have kept me there longer.

I'm a big loon fan but I've never seen one in the wild. The closest I've come is the sound my phone makes when I get a text message. It is a distinctly erie sound and one you might not want to hear when you're sitting in the dark outside of the church in ladies Bible study as I found out when my husband texted me and my studymates were about to run to their cars. And although I've never seen those low riders on the lake, I saw nearly 30 in the air, all making their way south for the winter. We also saw Red Tail hawks, a bald eagle, and at least 50 Canadian geese flying in their classic V-shape formation and announcing to the world how proud they were of their accomplishment. I just tried to remember not to look up with my mouth open. Ha! Having been a huge Woody Woodpecker fan as a child, I was thrilled when a Pileated Woodpecker flew eye level across our view. I believe he was taking a pit stop to fuel up among the deadwood before continuing his trek to warmer climates.

Then we traveled a little further down the trail so Sausser's pile, aptly named because it is literally a very large pile of rocks that form an outcropping on the side of the mountain and as you can see, the view was worth the extra sweat and yes, a few bruises to boot. Can anyone say trekking poles? I think I may need to invest in some.

The forest was filled with the song of the gentle breeze and the leaves as they shook and fluttered to the ground, the gold especially brilliant as the sun hit them as they seesawed to the ground. It was nothing short of magical and although things will not die in heaven, it reminded me of what's in store when I get there. When I survey the splendor of the mountains, the colors of the autumn trees, the grays and blues of the sky, and the majesty of the God's creation, it's hard to believe that there is anywhere that could be more beautiful. But then I remember that even the world is in a fallen state, groaning for His return, and my heart swells with expectation at what the new heavens and the new earth will look like.

After our trek, we ate snacks from my pack-beef jerky and trail mix and traveled further down the mountain...in my truck...to the valley below. What would an outing to the country be without a stop at a gun shop and lunch at one of the local country stores? Homemade ham and cheddar soup, a chef's salad that came in a serving bowl, and an Amish whoppie pie for dessert was on the menu. The whoppie pie was especially yummy but not nearly as good as my mother-in-law's are. Louise, your's just can't be beat!

The leaves are slowly fading around here. The yellows are the last hold outs and are showing up the reds and burgundys. I can't remember a more beautiful or vibrant fall season ever in the 42 years we've lived here. There's just no other place on earth that I would rather be. Soon our Saturday adventures will have to turn to warmer activities but in Pennsylvania, there is no end to fun places to see and things to do.

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Fall Foliage Follies

10/19/2020

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I love fall! There's nothing better than donning jeans and a sweatshirt and getting out into the fresh, crisp air of autumn. I love the colors of the leaves as they become the most brilliant right before they drop to earth as they finish their life cycle. I pray that I, like them, would shine the brightest and the best all the way up to the end of my course or until Jesus returns. The smell of walnuts and acorns fill the air with a smell that is distinctive just in autumn and blends with the colder air that makes your nostrils tingle with delight. There's just something relaxing about it all, making you want to slow down, relax, and linger a little longer in beauty of it all.

This fall is a new season for me and a good time to make new memories so on the weekends we hop into my truck and head out on a new adventure. This particular week we headed northeast to the south side of what is known as the Pennsylvania Grand Canyon/Pine Creek Gorge. Rails to trails runs through there as well as many hiking trails, ATV trails and Hyner View. Hyner view has been on my radar for some time now so I was thrilled when we learned that it was close by. And as you can see from the photos above, it was beautiful. Even though I've seen it many times in photos, it took my breath away and I stood speechless for nearly half an hour as I pictured the finger of God moving through the mountains creating the valleys and mountain ranges that seemed to go on forever and forever.

While there some hang gliders showed up and wowed us as they fearlessly jumped off the mountain and then soared above us for several minutes before landing in a field down below.

We grew hungry and passed through a small town having an apple butter festival, complete with homemade apple butter cooking over a wood fire and a gun raffle. We stopped and grabbed a beef sandwich, some oh-my-they-grow-good-chickens-and-corn-around-here soup and a homemade apple dumpling that almost rivaled my mother's recipe...almost!

While there, some people approached me, sure that they knew me and I had to tell them my theory of this strange phenomonen that happens literally EVERYWHERE I go. People think they know me. All I can figure is that I'm one of God's common molds. He made one and said "Hmmmm, that's good. I think I'll make a ton more just like it!" At least I hope that is what He said when he created a million people who look just like me! I find it rather puzzling since I am so tall and my hair is...well, let's face it...pretty hard to miss. My reason for adding this will become obvious as I write about other adventures.

As the day leaned into dusk, we grabbed hands and strolled down the rails to trails path, watching the deer and the water. By the time our walk was complete, the sun was setting behind the mountain and night was setting in. After all the hiking and excitement, we were hungry so we stopped at a quaint little inn that had out of this world food choices and enjoyed a quiet dinner before heading home. And just in case you're wondering from the photo, we did not indulge in the alcoholic choices on the menu.

My soul was happy and my heart was full of all the heart snapshots from the day. I will cherish them always.

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Just Who Do You Think You're Talking To?

10/5/2020

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It was beautiful weather for a walk this morning. The clouds overhead provided a cool canopy as I got underway down the trail. I started out gingerly as my muscles screamed from yesterday’s squats and leg presses but I soon forgot about my legs as a chorus of songbirds began to serenade me. One bird seemed to be telling me to “walk down, walk back”, which is what I do each morning on my 3+ mile jaunt. Admittedly, the first few minutes of every morning, I am captivated by the beauty of the trees, vegetation, the smell of the woods, the sound of the water, and the flowering plants that line the path. Soon though, my thoughts rise from the splendor of the creation to thoughts of the creator of it all.

I’ve been praying about several situations that weigh heavy in my life. As I prayed, I asked God for new beginnings. Immediately my mind went to Genesis 1:1. “In the beginning”, the very beginning of time but not the beginning of God. He created the heavens and the earth. I thought of the sun. God spoke and the sun was created. I thought of the power of the sun and of how long the sun has burned without going out. I considered the force of its brightness and its consuming heat. That ball of continual, fiery, energy with its searing power came into being by one word spoken from God’s mouth. That’s power! “In the beginning”, God spoke and a force as potent and violent as the sun was created...out of nothing but a word. I marveled at the power that has to be present for something like that to happen and realized it can be found in the voice of God when He speaks just one word.

The creator is the same one who walks with me everyday, who put His Spirit inside of me, and who cares about every minute detail of my life. He is the captain of my life, the shepherd of my soul. He is the same God who chose a new beginning for mankind when He instructed Noah to build an ark and Moses to cross the Red Sea. This God is the one who redeemed Israel over and over again as He continually called them back to Himself. He is the same God that gave the Apostle Paul a new beginning and used him to change the world. He is the same God that redeemed Peter back to himself so that he could begin again to declare that Jesus saves! He is the same God that redeemed mankind by sacrificing His own Son that I might have a way to communicate and fellowship with Him, to be accepted in His presence. That’s powerful! As I pondered this, another bird call rang out and it seemed to be saying “I need Him, I need Him” and I joined in his chorus and began to tell God, “I need you, I need you!” I need new beginnings. I am desperate for new beginnings and as I did this, I felt His powerful peace wash over my heart just as the water rushes over the rocks when it makes its way downstream. I pictured in my mind’s eye God taking my burden and carrying it downstream to a place where it will never return. What comfort I get from putting my burdens in God’s hands and watching what He creates from them. He is a God of new beginnings. He always has been. He always will be.

I thought of my daughter. That girl was born with more spunk than any child should ever have and she was a huge hand full during her toddler years. While my three babies slept in the afternoon, I would lie on my bed and cry out to God, asking Him what to do to harness this young lioness He had given me. Often I would tiptoe into her room and lay my hands on her and pray because quite frankly, I was at my wit’s end with her. One day, I laid her down after a particularly difficult morning, laying my hands on her and asked God for what I thought would have to be a miracle in her life. When she woke up from her nap, she was an entirely different person and she continued to be an entirely different person from that day forward. When my parents came to visit, they noticed a profound change in her and asked, “Who is this child and what have you done with our granddaughter?” That is the power of God. He is still at work today creating new beginnings for those who look to Him, for those who need a miracle, for me and you.

So today, I would ask you to think about the WHO of your praying. Who are you praying to? What is He like? What has He said? How has He proved Himself in the past? Is He reliable, believable, trustworthy? Are you following His instructions for praying and getting answers or do answers seem to be fleeting? Why?

I am working on my next Red-Letter-Journey entry which deals with faith. It’s been a long time coming but as I thought about faith and prayer-answers it seemed that the subject was too broad. Volumes have been written about faith and prayer over the years by people way smarter and more knowledgeable than I am. But as I have taken this month of September to avoid social media interactions, to turn off the news, to un-crowd my brain of all the words that usually come into it during the course of a day, I’ve pondered what the red letters say concerning faith and prayer and came to the conclusion that faith is really very simple. It’s just not always easy.

I love how the Lord meets me just where I am. He created me. He hardwired me and only He knows the best way to communicate with me so that I get it! (By the way, I highly recommend taking some time from social media. I’ve always believed that the reason there is such shallowness in our culture today is because we take in so much information every day that there is no way to deeply process anything that we hear, including what we read, hear or see in our time with God. It will amaze you how your thinking patterns will change when you’re not filling up every moment with new information. Get a few thoughts and allow them to marinate a little.)

I love pickled eggs! The longer they sit in that beet juice mixture, the darker their color and the more flavorful they are. So as you read God’s Word, notice what jumps out at you. Write it down so you don’t forget and then find a quiet spot and think just on that. Do it for several days. Train your brain to think! You will be amazed at where God will take you as you allow Him to speak to you about it. For me, there’s nothing more thrilling than to know that God Almighty has taken time to personally speak into my life.

Not only does He speak, He moves as a result of my words, when they are faith-filled words. That is where prayer answers come from. That is who prayer answers come from. It’s really very simple. Requests + Faith = Prayer Answers. But, but, but-yep, I hear you! It doesn’t seem this easy, does it? But that’s what the red letters say, folks. And this seems to be where it gets complicated, doesn’t it? Yet, we must be careful that we do not allow our experiences to form our theology. Perhaps, our theology needs some adjustment to come more into line with those red letters. Perhaps our faith needs a booster shot. Perhaps our theology needs a tune-up.

More to come!

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Last Post-Going Off Grid

9/1/2020

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I have a new/old friend. We used to be acquaintances when our children were small. That was thirty years ago. And as our children grew apart, so did we. A few months ago, we reconnected and discovered our shared love of being in nature. Now we spend a couple days a month together hiking in Rothrock Forest. These are some of my favorite days. I love the nature we see and experience but what I love most is our conversation. From the time I jump in her truck until I drag myself to my car (notice the progression there-LOL), we talk of Jesus. Even as we hike, we’ve learned to stay more than a few steps apart as one of us may suddenly stop to more deeply discuss something from God’s Word. Occasionally we will rest at a campfire site so that we are not distracted in our conversation by slippery rocks or rattlesnakes. We are very different in some ways and sometimes we clash on issues but that doesn’t matter to us. We just love and accept each other based on our shared love of God and our desire to truly know His truth. I cherish this woman, her vulnerability, her honesty, her love. Clearly, she is a gift from God to me.

Our last conversation led to our culture and what is happening in the world and how it affects us spiritually. As I am, she is seeing the more subtle dangers of social media. I shared with her how I feel greatly conflicted in this area. I know that God has called me to write about His truth, to get His Word out there in its purest presentation. My conflict comes in that there are already so many voices speaking their version of God’s Word out there. I don’t want to be just another voice adding to the fray because I have determined that nowadays we take in so much information that we rarely have time or mental capacity to think deeply about anything. Yet, I know there is the need for truth in a world lost in deception and swept up in cultural concerns, even amongst Christians.

In Galatians, Paul shared his disappointment that they had so quickly departed from the true gospel, allowing influencers from the Jewish culture to enter disperse into the truth they had received from Paul through the Holy Spirit. To enter disperse means to break up and send in different directions. So the religious leaders were inserting human traditions into the foundation of spiritual truth and causing them to get off course in their faith. To dilute faith with works. To distract from the main doctrines of their faith. The term Christian Mingle came to mind as I read this-mingling worldly and Christian thought together. That made me giggle until I realized the gravity and prevalence of it in our world.

My daughter’s pastor has encouraged his congregation to stay off social media for the month of September and to spend that time allowing God to assess their spiritual health. That caused me to stop and consider my own social media practices. I have already greatly reduced my interactions with facebook. I don’t do Instagram or any of the others. But when I thought about not looking at facebook at all, I realized that it would be extremely difficult for me which is exactly the reason why I am going to do this. So this is my last post for the month. My blogs will still appear. My blog service automatically posts them there but as far as scrolling or commenting, I’m done for at least a month. In the past, I’ve cut out all outside voices and it has always served to cause me to hear God’s voice so much more clearly and to know Him in a much deeper way..

In the conversation about this with my friend, we acknowledged that instead of providing help, solutions or bringing peace, the loudest voices in our culture today mostly serve to increase uncertainty, fear, and anxiety. For each individual, peace and solutions can only be found in God. After all that has transpired and is still unfolding in our country, things are probably never going to be the same. It’s concerning no matter what stage of life you are in. And we need to know how to prepare to live in these new times. What we shouldn’t be doing is letting the fear and uncertainty guide our decisions. We can run on fear and stockpile food and supplies, homeschool our children, secure our investments, move to the country, fill the gun safe with weapons and ammunition, pack a go bag, or any other amount of activities but that does nothing to give us peace. Not that any of those things are wrong but if they are not God directed, they only serve to sure up fear and uncertainty. However, if we are alone with God and He tells us to do those very same things, there is peace and surety that comes along with it. Even if He indicated to us that things are going to get hard, we have the peace of knowing that He has already been where we’re going and that He is leading us in His provision for that time. What’s even better is that we know He will walk through it with us. How we react to news from the tv versus that same news from the voice of God is vastly different, at least it should be. You see, the news media and social media cannot help you in these things, they can only inform you (rightly or wrongly) about these things. But God is our help, our comfort, our wisdom, our peace, our protector, our defender, the one who leads us exactly where we need to be, who tells us exactly how we ought to think about and process all the information that comes to us. If we are not attuned with Him, if we are not more knowledgeable of His Word than we are of the state of the union, then we may miss some provision or instruction that we need and find ourselves in want or trouble.

In order to hear Him, we have to shut out all the other voices that are constantly shouting to us on facebook, instagram, all the other “grams” of social media that I’m not familiar with, the news media, and maybe even some of our friends. We need to disconnect from this world and reconnect with our God. He is the only one that has the perfect plan for your life. Only He knows what you need and when you need it. Only He knows what path you are to follow even if you are walking that path alone with others screaming in your ear that it isn’t the best one for you! I encourage you to examine your thought life and what you spend your time thinking about and seriously consider who has the loudest, strongest voice in your life right now. Is it the news? Is it Facebook? Is it your favorite Bible teacher/preacher? Is it the latest financial guru or life coach? Is it the CDC? Is it your spouse or your children? Is it the school system? Is it the banker or financial advisor? Just how loud is God’s voice in your life today? (Good indicators are your habits, actions, and yes, the all important words that come out of your mouth for “out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.”)

There may still be some blogs appearing on my facebook page but that is because my blog service is set to automatically post them but I will not be there. So if you comment, I will get back to you in October. I will still be using email, Messenger and text messaging so that I’m available to those who may need me. I know that some of you look forward to the photos of my forest excursions, but not to worry. I will post them when I return. And just to be honest, I will be on two facebook sites because my writing and piano classes are linked through there and I don’t want to fall a month behind when I’ve invested my time and resources in taking them.

So what will I be doing with my extra time?

-Spending more time in scripture. I have a Bible written in chronological order that is calling my name.
I will also continue my red letter journey (reading only the red letters in scripture). I can’t tell you how doing this has impressed upon me the power of the name of Jesus. I have a new sense of awe and a greater awareness of the power and privilege that has been given to me as a child of God. It’s helped me pick up some things I had lost along my journey these past couple of years.
-Journaling-I have found some wonderful sitting spots in the forest that I will be visiting. There’s just nothing better than being in nature and doing what I love to do best!
-Prayer-I’ve been revisiting what the Bible says about prayer and I am excited to put into practice what God has been showing me.
-Resting-Being still in mind and body. Something I don’t do enough of.
Listening-Letting the Lord talk about whatever He wants to and listening with an open, attentive ear.

So, have a good month! I will see you later!

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When You Are Life's Victim

8/14/2020

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At some point in time, all people become a victim of life in some way, big or small. There are no guarantees in life except that something, some day is going to go horribly wrong. You mess up. Someone else messes up and you get caught in their wake. We are connected to life so when life goes wrong, it's going to affect us both in big and small ways.

Things that can be lost to you in the midst of life's victimization:

Your job
Your ministry
Your church family
Your spouse
Your children
Your friends
Your confidence
Respect of others
Respect for others
Hope
Peace
Your dreams and deepest desires
Your "normal"
Time, lots of time
Your peace
Your joy
Your purpose

In fact, it might be easier to list what remains than to list all that was lost, especially when it feels that your entire life has imploded.

Some of the lost things will return. Some will never. Some will come back to you in a different, better way. Some will not. The loss of some things will make room for new, more valuable things if you don't allow room for all the negatives that are also vying for the vacancies that now exist.

What may try to come when you are life's victim:

Fear
Bitterness
Depression
Despair
Anger
A victim mentality
Worry
Hopelessness
Feelings of rejection
Feelings that failure is a final destination from which there is no return
Loss of who you were, are and who you want to become
Denial
Confusion
Doubt
Feelings of Inadequacy
Numbness
Listlessness

But because of God, because of His promises, because instead of running from God, I dug deep into God, this is hat I gained when I became a victim of life:

Friends who do not judge or condemn, who weep with me and walk with me through every, single step
Hope for a miracle
A Pastor who cares deeply
Many, many prayers and prayer answers
Renewed family relationships
Gentle, wise counsel
Boundaries for myself and others
Time, as God provides
Supernatural provision for body, soul, and spirit
A new way of thinking and living that is freeing and filled with peace, even in the midst of chaos

What you can never lose, no matter what turn your life may take.

The Love of God for you. His love is perfect
The knowledge that what you are suffering in is temporary
The presence and fellowship of the Holy Spirit
The forgiving and cleansing power of the Blood of Jesus
The promise of abundant redemption from a God who is able and willing
God's abundant and timely provision to every area of a trusting life
A song, even in the darkest night
Hope that is based on the surety of God's promises and provision
A bright future

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. It is God's promise to you. But even in the night of weeping, God is there. He is aware and He cares. He will stay with you, he will weep with you and then He will lift you out of the devastation and lead you into your purpose, into your future, and deeper and deeper into His love.

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#JesusChangedMyLife

4/21/2020

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Our Pastor challenged us all to share our story of how Jesus changed our lives. So here’s my story.

As a child, I attended a mainline church. I always believed there was a God and desired to please Him. When I was 9 years old, I went to vacation Bible school with the neighbors. They were Southern Baptists. We made popsicle stick pencil cans, had a flannel board Bible lesson (now I’m dating myself) and then went to the sanctuary where we heard the most hair raising sermon about Hell you’d ever want to hear. Every child went to the altar that night, unless they had gone before I guess. I refer to it as being “scared into the Kingdom”. The next year I went back and insisted that they pray with me again because I just felt that I needed to do it. The altar worker argued with me but I told her I wasn’t leaving until she prayed again. After that I would often lay in my windowsill at night, looking at the stars and talking to God and I would sense that there was someone there with me, the same feeling I felt when I went to church with my grandmother who attended a Pentecostal church. There were periods of time through middle school and high school that I read the Bible and prayed but never had anyone to guide me in Christian growth. I remember that I put the golden rule in my locker at school and it strengthened me when I was being teased relentlessly because I had grown way too fast and went from being ultra athletic to barely being able to walk and chew gum at the same time. My growth spurt had taken all my coordination. And because of my height my jeans were “flood” length instead of dragging on the ground, which was the style then. My Dad couldn’t yet afford to drive me 2 hours away and pay for the tall sizes.

While in college, I broke up with my boyfriend and I was miserable. I came to the realization that I needed that Jesus I’d experienced as a child so I went to the campus ministry building and sat there for 6 hours, hoping that just one person coming in and out of Bible study would realize that I was new there and stop to chat, but no one did so I went on without Him, but attended church sporadically until I graduated.

After college, I married my boyfriend of 3 ½ years and life got miserable real fast. I was definitely not ready for marriage. Between that and the stress of my job, I became ill and went to the doctor. As I lay on the table, I noticed a sign on the ceiling that said “Lord, please help me remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that you and I can’t handle together.” My diagnosis was that I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and valium was prescribed. In that day, any kind of mental or emotional illness carried a negative stigma. They didn’t know then what they know now about it. As I sat in my living room the next day I became hopeless. My life was miserable and I was going crazy, or so I thought. I felt like such a failure. I thought about how nothing I ever did in life seemed to completely please anyone and about my poor husband having to live with a crazy person and decided to end my life. As I held the whole bottle of valium in my hand and put them to my mouth, that sign from the doctor’s office and my windowsill experiences played in my mind like a motion picture. I got up, flushed the pills down the toilet and started reading my Bible every time I felt sick. I started at Genesis 1. I didn’t understand half of what I read but I could tell that the words had a calming effect on my heart. Several months later, I sat in a church in State College, PA. I wasn’t particularly listening to the sermon, (Sorry, Pastor B). I was talking to the Lord in my head telling Him how unloved and unlovely I felt and in my head, I heard His voice. He told me that He loved me and invited me to have a love relationship with Him. It was so appealing to me because by then I was desperate for love and I found myself walking to the front of the church sobbing while the Pastor was still preaching. I don’t know if he intended to have an altar call or not, but I caused one. A sweet lady prayed with me and I literally felt what seemed like a 2 ton weight lift off my shoulders and I don’t think that my feet touched the floor the whole way to my car. I have never looked back or gone back to my old life. I have never been the same. I have never regretted letting Jesus love me.

A few weeks after I was saved, my husband was also saved and we stopped talking about divorce. The time came when we wanted children but I could not get pregnant. One day while reading my Bible I came across some verses that said that the Lord would make me a joyful mother of children, so I looked up to heaven and I said, Lord, it says right here that you can make me a joyful mother of children. I know you are very busy taking care of the missionaries and people in real trouble, but when you have time, could you please make it so that I can have children? Again, I felt that presence. It didn’t just descend this time. It came in my driveway, around to my back door, through my kitchen and into the room where I was sitting and just rested real heavy for a minute or two and then went away. After that I had a peace where there had once been sadness when I thought of having children. I was a new Christian and I didn’t understand that He had healed my body until a few weeks later when I found out that we were going to have a baby. I had told the Lord that I would like a blond haired, blue eyed girl with a sweet disposition and a passion for Him and the Lord gave me just what I asked for. As a result, I realized that I may belong to the largest family in the world-the family of God-but when I call my Father, it’s like I’m His only child and He gives His full attention to me and comes to visit me wherever I am. I’m that special to Him. And so are you.

Through the years, many things like this have happened. God miraculously saved the lives of two of my children after a doctor said they were unresponsive at the scene of a devastating car accident and I was told that they wouldn’t make it. He healed them up enough to go home in just 2 months instead of the six months the doctors had predicted. I was told time and time again that something miraculous was happening by the doctors, nurses and social workers at the hospital but I told them that they weren’t miracles for God, He was just doing what He does and being who He is. I can honestly say that in every situation where I have needed something, God has come through, whether it was food, money or any other type of provision, the need for a babysitter that I felt I could trust, times when I needed comfort or wisdom in a situation, times that I have needed great courage, or those times when I again felt unloved or unlovely. In fact, I am still learning how deeply and completely God loves me and that His love is perfect love. How many without God can say that they are loved with perfect love? I honestly don’t know anyone who wouldn’t want the kind of love I have found in God.

I’ve seen Him work in the lives of others bringing them through abuse to joy, healing eating disorders, making Himself real to them no matter how far from Him they are, turning them from being evil doers to lovers of good, from being negative to being hopeful, from feeling fatherless to knowing a Father’s love, and from being addicted to complete freedom. He’s REAL and He’s REALLY GOOD!

That doesn’t mean that I am perfect or that my life is easy. Anyone who knows me knows how imperfect I truly am. It doesn’t mean that bad things never happen to me, they do. I have faced and currently am facing difficult hardships That’s called life. It doesn’t mean that I never fail or make mistakes. But I have found that I can be in hard circumstances on the outside but still have peace, hope and expectation of good on the inside as long as I remember that He is with me through it all and that He is the solution to every problem that I face. I navigate life knowing that He is there, guiding me and holding my hand. I’m never alone. I can expect good to come because I know He sees the end from the beginning. He’s ready to help 24/7 and knows what I need before I even ask and has an answer all ready when I call. I love that no matter where I am, I can create a windowsill moment and can feel His presence anytime that I need Him or just want to spend some time in His presence. I love that His words, found in the Bible, have life in them. When I read them, they change me, comfort me, and remind me of the hope I have in Him, both in this life and the next. I love that this life is not all we have. It’s just the precursor to an eternal life where there are no tears, no pain, no needs or wants, just peace and joy and total fulfillment. I love that this is available for anyone who truly wants it no matter how far from Him you may think that you are. He has opened love’s gate and He will hold onto you and never let you go.

If anyone would like to talk with me further about my experience or if you have questions about how to know that God is there for you as He has been for me, please contact me. I would love to tell you about Him. #Jesuschangedmylife
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OOphIgGkjM&list=FLBA67jVBbzwjsnwjTYrmfsQ&index=6&t=0s

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60th Birthday Cancelled by Covid-19

4/9/2020

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I turned 60 near the end of February. Well, technically, I'm still 59 because we haven't celebrated my birthday yet. I got sick with what will probably prove to be Covid-19 the day before. It put my birthday on hold. I got it from my husband. It's the worst gift he ever gave me. I thought the electric can opener he gave me years ago was the worst gift. (It had cows on it and I love cows so his heart was in the right place, but his mind was where it always is--on food. LOL It was then he was informed by a friend that gifts with cords or that caused me to work were unacceptable unless they were on a list I had produced. So cameras and keyboards would be okay.) Then my son-in-law broke his ankle and we postponed my celebration another week which brought us right up to the recommendations to stay away from people because of Covid-19.

I haven't been healthy a day of my 59/60th year because I had a sinus infection early in the year and my ear clogged. Then the Lord healed it just a short time before I fell ill with the virus and it's been clogged ever since. My doctor's appointment to get the tube so that I could hear in that ear was cancelled due to the coronavirus so I've been deaf and claustrophobic for months now, but I'm handling it. The family joke seems to be people texting me to ask "when we are going to celebrate my birthday, hahahaha!" I don't mind except I was really looking forward to having red velvet cake. Red velvet cake has always been MY birthday cake until my husband hijacked it for his birthday which falls two weeks before mine. Then my son also requested it for his birthday which is four days before mine. By the time my birthday rolled around, I just requested a twinkie with a candle because I was sick of red velvet cake. I was sick of cake period. But this year, my husband requested something different, as did my son, so I was all set to get the red velvet cake for my birthday.

I thought that maybe the day I turned 60, well when I was supposed to turn 60, was going to be my last day on earth. In fact, I asked the Lord to take me home for my birthday as I had no desire to live one more day because of the pain that I was in from the fever. He didn't respond and I'm still here. He really doesn't pay much attention to the requests made while in delirium. I've always hoped that after you hit a certain older age that life levels out and your normal becomes boring and routine-something that I was welcoming. I couldn't have been more wrong! Life for me, especially the last 5 years has been as close to hell as I ever desire to get.

In 2014, our entire family got food poisioning from some Chinese food we purchased from a local grocery store for a birthday celebration. In just 5 short hours, the entire bunch (all 7) were fighting over toilets. I was the only one left unscathed, probably because I seem to have an iron stomach or slow digestion, which in this case was a blessing because I didn't get sick until everyone else was starting to get better which meant that no one died in the process.

Because of the food poisioning my husband developed a yeast intolerance that resulted in life and death situations for the next 3-4 years, so many trips to the ER that we were on a first name basis, and 5 surgeries that now have him classified as a six-million dollar man because of all the re-construction to his innards. I'll spare you the details except to say that it was a very scary time and that was one expensive egg roll!

At the same time all of this was going on with my husband, one day my retina decided to say "talleyho!" and I was rushed to a hospital 1 1/2 hours away to save my eyesight. After surgery and 4 additional procedures, I am happy to say that I see better now than I have since "legs got frames" in fourth grade. Legs was my nickname, and if you know me at all, you understand why. Then my OBGYN discovered something awry and scheduled surgery but it was postponed because my pre-surgery EKG was abnormal and I failed the subsequent stress test and had to see a cardiologist who prescribed a drug to help regulate my heart beat so that the OBGYB could eventually operate. After the operation, my biopsy came back wierd so I had to have hormone therapy and biopsies every 6 months for the next two years. A biopsy is basically where they give you two aspirin, hold your hand, stick a knife in you to slice off a piece while trying to distract you by talking about pumpkin pie. That was my experience anyway. You can only find so many things to say about pumpkin pie, although it is one of my favorites but thinking of slicing a pie while you are being sliced is not all that helpful.

On top al all of this, my job got more stressful and there were several family issues that happaned that all but destroyed my heart, panic attacks and anxiety, my brothers untimely and unexpected passing in 2018 and my dad's passing one year later, to the day, leaving my sister and I reeling. Then came a career change for my husband and a new church family after having been at the same church for 26 years. Life just seemed to be spinning totally out of my control. I felt like I was on a roller coaster and I couldn't get off.

I came to the conclusion that I needed to take a step back and reboot. I had been sensing in my spirit that a big change was coming for awhile and that I wasn't going to be at my job forever. One day, while running reports, the Lord told me to quit. So immediately, I sent my resignation letter to my boss and then called my husband and told him what I did. I probably shouldn't have done it in that order but when God speaks that loudly, it's best to just obey.

So even before Covid-19, I was adjusting to a totally new lifestyle and a completely open schedule. While most people are finding it hard to adjust to this new situation, I haven't been too bothered by it all except that it's horrible that so many are sick and dying.

I love being home. I love the extra time to cook and prepare nice meals for my family instead of the Wal-Mart special (rotisseree chicken, Amish macaroni salad, and frozen vegetables) for a quick meal after a stressful day at work.

I love that I can wake up, grab my Bible and spend as much time as I want with the Lord before getting out of bed in the morning.

I love that I can go to the creek and not have to worry about setting an alarm to insure that I'm not late getting back from my lunch hour.

I love that I can stop what I'm doing and take a worship break at my piano anytime and as many times a day as I please. It's hard for me to see a keyboard and not play it, even if it's on display at Cracker Barrell.

I love that I'm getting things done around the house that have needed done for a long time.

I love that I have time to be a blessing to someone every day-something that I've added to my daily schedule checklist.

I love that I can spend more time with family than ever before, well until this virus thing came along.

I love that all the things that used to be "me things" that were lost in the turmoil of the last 5 years are returning, like the love of kneading and baking bread, knitting, photography, writing, reading, singing, composing music and cooking.

I love that I have time to develop new friendships with some very lovely ladies that that the Lord has brought into my life.

I love that if I can't decide between the two Bible study options that I can attend both instead of having to choose!

love the church that the Lord has seen fit to settle me in even though it probably wouldn't have been the one I would have chosen on my own.

I love being able to attend church functions that I had absolutely no responsbility in planning.

I love to throw my hands up in the air in worship. For the last 26 years, I've played the piano and couldn't but I must admit that I miss playing the piano in church.

I love being able to take on-line classes to improve my skills and to explore new areas that I never had time to consider before.

I love living a more peaceful, less cluttered, less hectic and more simple lifestyle.

I will definetely continue it even after I'm allowed to be out and about. I may even tackle my nemesis-baking good cookies. Has there even been a cookie sheet invented that will take my dough and make it yummy??? Do you believe in miracles? LOL!

So maybe almost turning 60 is not as bad as I thought it would be.

I have my health, in fact, I've never been healthier than I am right now, except the ear issue. That's easily fixed.

I have a home that keeps getting more appealing as I paint and organize and decorate.

I have people who love and support me unconditionally.

I have Jesus, the one who loves me with a perfect love. That is such an awesome thought. Hallmark has nothing on Him!

I have a bright future, both here and in eternity-which by the way, I'm not in a hurry to investigate now that the fever is gone but it has certainly given me more empathy for people who suffer from chronic conditions.

I have life! So many cannot say that in the midst of this pandemic.

I have choices and options and potential. I live in a free country. Life is good!

Yes, there are still situations that are hurting my heart that are competely out of my control. It's called life. But as I've spent much more time with God in the last 9 months than I've ever had the blessing of doing before, I'm learning that it's better to leave things in His loving, capable hands. It's so freeing! In the morning the first thing I do is give those things to Him. And when I lay my head down at night, I thank Him for working in those things that day even if I can't see or feel that anything has changed or is different. I learned a long time ago not to judge a situation by progress because progress is fluid and runs both directions. Life sometimes gives us detours but with God at the helm we can know we will reach our destination. He is the pilot and I just need to sit back and let him do the flying. My hope is in God and His promises and He has never failed to keep even one of them yet. His answers don't always look like what I envisioned but they are always just what I need. I wish I could say that it is easy to do this, but it's not. I find myself grabbing things back from Him sometimes to see if there is anything I can do to help Him along. But there isn't. I just need to let Him have them and live knowing that He is able, willing and will "accomplish all that concerns me." I just need to let Him have control. After 60 years-almost, that is the best thing I could say to anyone. Just let God be God to you. I can promise you will never regret it.

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Sermon Legs

3/21/2020

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Most people who read my ramblings seem to enjoy them. I’m glad for that but they’re not why I write them. I don't write for a large audience, I write for an audience of one. The ONE! God Himself. For most of my life I have felt invisible. I am the baby of the family. I was a Pastor's wife who believes that being a Pastor's wife simpy means that you are married to a Pastor, not that you are called to be in public ministry because your husband is, so I didn't get involved in most things at church where I would have had a voice. Even when I did have a voice, I don't think many people paid attention anyway. Writing became for me, a place to have a voice. When I write, it feels as if someone is listening. I soon found out that God was listening too and I soon began to write for an audience of one-HIM! I could just pray, but then there is no record of what we discussed. I don't know about you but if God says something to me, I'm gonna write it down because I want to remember it forever! If I write prayers, I want to be able to go back and record all the answers and how they came. It helps me stay grateful and hopeful.

Someone asked me why I do Sunday Takeaways-there's a critic in every crowd, LOL. I do them because they help me put legs on the sermons I hear. Maybe I should call them Sermon Legs instead. They help me practically apply what I hear so that I can grow. They help me make sense of things that are happening or have happened. They help me bring the spiritual and the practical together in a most healthy way. Most people don't realize how many hours of study, prayer and sermon preparation it takes to deliver a half-hour sermon. They don't realize the weight of responsibility that a human feels when delivering a heavenly message. I do because it was my husband's life for many years so when I sit down in church (or now snuggled under the covers in my jammies) on Sunday morning, I've already prepared my heart to hear from heaven through a human.

Your Pastor is a servant with a message from the King. Perhaps the King is inviting you to a wedding feast or warning you of a coming disaster or telling you of a coming visitation so that you're ready. Your Pastor is just a messenger, but don't miss the King’s message because the messenger is not the King. Sermons are not your Sunday morning entertainment, they're not a box you check off on your goody-two-shoe list. They are Words of Life, heavenly direction, and a message to you from God that comes through the one He has appointed to be your shepherd in life. They are more important than maybe most realize. I heard someone testifying once and they said "Let's face it. Most of us won't remember what was preached by the time we sit down to lunch." I wanted to ask them why they were in church at all, but I refrained. Why reward stupidity?

So, first of all, be sure you show up-physically and mentally prepared. Don't just sit there and evaluate the delivery, or muse over the fact that the Pastor wore that same sweater vest last week, or that he stumbled over some words, or that the sermon just wasn't what you were wanting or needing to hear. I can guarantee you that it was. Listen and then put legs to the sermon. Listen to it twice. Look up all the scripture references. Meditate on what sticks out to you, pray about it, and then do it! And if you don't like Sunday Takeaways, if they just irritate you for some reason, I just have two words for you...Keep Scrolling!

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He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

3/15/2020

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One of my favorite activities as a child was to play in my grandmother’s yard. It was full of clover and I used to search hours for lucky clovers. Once I found a 7 leaf clover and I thought that one must be especially lucky. When with friends, we would pick wild daisies and think of our latest crush and then one by one pick the petals from them saying “He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not.” If it didn’t end up the way we wanted, we would determine that we must have messed it up somehow so we would find another daisy and start again, hoping for a different outcome. Somehow, ending with a “He loves me” gave us an odd sense of comfort and satisfaction, as if Mother Nature had spoken, so it must be true.

Of course, this was all just child’s play but in the last few months, I have realized that I have often treated the thought of God’s Love the same way., except that if I thought my last petal was going to be a “He loves me not”, I could somehow start over by adjusting something in my living or in my thinking to change the way God felt about me, thus getting me back into His good graces. At times in my Christian life, I have thought that I needed to live holy for God to love me, or I needed to do certain things in a certain way at a certain time for a certain amount of time for God to love me. I was constantly in a quandary concerning His love for me. If I was living well, I thought “He loves me.” If I was struggling, I definitely thought “He loves me not” or He is at the very least highly displeased with me right now. In fact, I often used to wonder how thick the page that held my name in the Book of LIfe was because I felt that God had probably erased my name and written it back in so many times that it must be wearing dangerously thin. What would happen when there was no more paper to write on because the eraser had worn a hole in the space where my name had been?

Now you might laugh at this thought because you are totally secure in God’s love, but when I became a Christian, I was completely insecure where love was concerned. That day, I had an encounter with God’s supernatural love and I so desperately needed it. I was sitting in a church I had never attended. I didn’t know a soul there. I had recently married and moved away from my family for the first time. My marriage was not going well at all, in fact, it was on the brink of divorce. I felt like a complete and utter failure, totally unloved and unlovely. As I sat there on the pew, I was silently telling God what a failure I was at everything. I could never seem to please those that I loved. Not my family, not my employer, not even my spouse, and yes, certainly not a perfect, Holy God. I was wondering what was wrong with me. I felt like I was some kind of dud in the human race. Then I heard God’s voice, audibly. I didn’t completely comprehend what He said to me then, 37 years ago, until just recently. He said to me, “Cyndi, I love you and I want to have a love relationship with you.” I responded to Him by walking to the altar while the preacher was still preaching the last point of his sermon. I don’t know if he planned on having an altar call or not, but he really didn’t have a choice. I stood there, sobbing, in front of 500 people who had never laid eyes on me before, desperately reaching out to the love that God had just offered me. As I prayed the sinner’s prayer, it felt as if a 2 ton weight lifted from my shoulders and I’m pretty sure that my feet never touched the floor when I walked from the building that day. I still remember the exhilarating joy that flooded my entire being. God Himself had spoken as I picked away at the petals of my life’s failures and He declared “He loves me” so it must be true!

Then, as I began to grow as a Christian, I came to learn about faith and works, works and faith and somehow the pure joy of just knowing God’s love got lost in the “working out” of my faith. As I tried and failed, struggled and succeeded at living the Christian life, somehow I thought that my status with God depended on how well I was doing at proving my love for others and for Him according to the commands I saw in His Word and the opinions of others. Pretty soon, I was feeling like a dud in the church and in the eyes of God. I never doubted my salvation because I understood the sacrifice of Christ’s blood was what had saved me but I totally lost sight of the “Why” of Calvary. I forgot it was because “while I was a sinner, Christ died for me” because “He loves me!” I forgot that His love for me has nothing to do with who I am. It’s all because of who He is.

A few weeks ago, I attended a conference and a speaker got up and said “God loves you because He loves you because He loves you because He loves you because He loves you...and on and on she droned but with each “God loves you because He loves you”, it was as if God was peeling off years of the bondage of works and religion from my heart. It finally dawned on me that the intensity of God’s love for me has never changed or wavered, not even for a second. It is and has been the one constant in a life of ups and downs, twists and turns, tragedy and sorrow, failures and successes.

I’m not saying that we can just live anyway we please after we commit our lives to God. God’s grace is free but it is not cheap. It’s not greasy grace. It’s not sloppy agape. There is a life to be lived, battles to be fought, wars to be waged, and changes to be made. What I am saying is that in the battles that are lost and have to be fought again, maybe even every day, God’s love for us is not altered, not even one iota, as my aunt used to say. I have no idea what an “iota” is but I imagine that it is a miniscule amount. So all the time I have spent wondering about God’s eraser and my status in the book based on how much God might be loving me that day because of my performance or success was senseless. His love just is!

As a sinner, God loved me from afar. I’ve come to learn that I determine the distance between me and Him. If I draw near to Him, He will draw near to me. Adam and Eve hid from God, they kept their distance, after they sinned. The stench of their sin did not make God turn around at the gate of the garden. He came as He always had and sought them out as was His custom. They were the ones that ran from Him. No one has ever gone to Hell because God didn’t love them. They went there because they didn’t love Him. God loves every sinner in Hell today.

When I heard His declaration of love, I allowed Him to come in close and all the benefits of being declared worthy, because of the sacrifice of Christ, became mine for the taking, the most important being the Spirit who came to live inside of me and who tells the world, “Hey! She belongs to me. I love her.” It was then that I began to follow after Him, like an innocent lamb nipping at the Shepherd's heels, following wherever He led, eating what He provided, sleeping within His watchful eye, and allowing Him to do whatever He needed to do to keep me close.

So, the bottom line is “He loves me!” HE loves me! He LOVES me! He loves ME!

Before I was born, He loved me.
When I distanced myself from Him, He loved me.
Now that I’ve come in close, He loves me.
When I sin, He loves me.
When I fail, He loves me.
When I succeed, He loves me.
When others approve of me, He loves me.
When others disapprove of me, He loves me.
When I struggle,He loves me.
When I’m mistreated and misunderstood, He loves me.
When I'm discarded and thrown away by those I love, He loves me.
When I’m on the mountain top, He loves me.
When I’m lost in a valley of despair, He loves me.
When I’ve lost everything, He loves me.
When I’ve won a victory, He loves me.
When I’m betrayed by others, He loves me.
When I’m loved by others, He loves me more than they ever could.
When I doubt His love, He loves me.
When I’m tempted, He loves me.
When I question His intentions or ability or motives, He loves me.
When I’m drowning in the storms of life, He loves me.
When I’m anxious, He loves me.
When I know He loves me, He loves me.
When I don’t think that He loves me, He loves me.
When I’m afraid, He loves me.
When I’m brave, He loves me.
When I’m bold, He loves me.
When I’m timid, He loves me.
When I don’t know what to do, He loves me.
When I don’t know how to pray, He loves me.
When I disobey or fail to keep His Word, He loves me.
When I can’t seem to go one more step, He loves me.
When I could run a marathon, He loves me.
When I don’t understand, He loves me.
When I just want to run away, He loves me.
When I look to Him, He loves me.
When I turn away, He loves me.
When I hurt, He loves me.
When I cry, He loves me.
When I laugh, He loves me.
When I”m stuck, He loves me.
When I change, He loves me.
When I see clearly, He loves me.
When I’m blinded, He loves me.
When I’m rebellious, he loves me.
When I’m like putty in His hands, He loves me.
When I want to go to heaven...now, He loves me.
When I want to stay on earth a little longer, He loves me.
When I’m thinking about Him, He loves me.
When He’s far from my thoughts, He loves me.
When I can’t hear His voice, He loves me.
When my ear is tuned to heaven, He loves me.
When I’m sick, He loves me.
When I’m well, He loves me.
When I feel in love with Him, He loves me.
When I feel nothing at all, He loves me.
When I’m just numb, He loves me.
When I reach for Him, He loves me.
When I run from Him, He loves me.
When I displease Him, He loves me.
When I please Him, He loves me.
Every day He loves me.
Every second of every day, He loves me. His love is perfect love, and it never changes, not even one iota...ever.

I finally get it! He loves me and wants to have a love relationship with me. He says the same thing to you!

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