My Dearest Pappa God, Lord and King, 

My heart feels as if it could explode with gratefulness. My eyes are filled with tears, not of sadness or despair but because of the miracle working power that I have seen You work in my life. When people ask me what I'm upset about, I just have to tell them that these are not tears of sadness but tears of joy, and wonder and amazement at what You have done for me, especially in the past 6 months. 

As we sang the lyrics this morning that say "Chains fall, fear bow, Here now, Jesus You change everything, Lives healed, hope found, Here now, Jesus You change everything" I could not contain the tears as the floodgates of my heart burst wide open at the thought of the miracle working power of Your Name. Truly, this was my statement of faith and now my anthem as I have watched you work in my life this past year. 

Where there was despair, You brought hope. Where there was incredible sadness that was trying to suck me down into the dark place of unbelief and hopelessness, You brought a joy deeper than the gravity of my circumstances and set my feet upon the firm foundation of Your unchanging, unaltered, ever powerful Word. Where there was anxiety that sat in my chest like a 2 ton boulder, You brought a peace that passes understanding and my heart lept with unfettered lightness as you filled me with the beautiful dream of what my future would be.  Where there was impossibililty, you proved that ALL things are possible with You, if I will only persevere in prayer, faith and belief. Where there were strongholds, you brought breakthrough, totally obliterating the walls that the enemy had built around what is my rightful possession. Where there was deception and darkness, You brought brilliant, purifying light. Where there was weakness, you brought the strength that is forever attached to Your Name that is greater than even the strongest strength on earth. Where there was blindess, you brought eye opening, truth revealing sight.

Each time that I thought I was at my very end, you did something so glorious that it got my full attention and filled my heart with hope and faith. When I was felt lost, your Word never failed to illuminate my path and showed me the next step. When I felt alone, You filled my heart with Your Word and Your presence, comforting me and letting me know that You will NEVER leave me nor forsake me. Where there was death, you brought resurrection and life because that is who You are and what You do. I can truly look to the future and smile because it is filled with the knowledge that You are the Alpha and Omege, the beginning and the end and everything in between. You are the one who makes everything new. Where there is death, you bring rebirth and a new creation. Where there is destruction, you rebuild with a new, stronger foundation. Everything You touch becomes new, fresh and beautiful. Hope saturates all that You do. Gratitude and thanksgiving have become the new air that I breathe and the song that my life sings everyday. 

When I cried to you in the night, and I said Pappa, I need you to take care of me, You wrapped Your loving arms around me and whispered Words of love and comfort and I feel asleep blanketed in the peaceful assurance of Your promise. When my mind was buffetted by the realities of my situation and despair was my constant companion, you filled my head with songs that illuminated Your providence and promise in my life and You led me to the place of hope, gratitude, and victory. I can say with the Psalmist, 2“Had it not been the LORD who was on our side
            When men rose up against us,
      3Then they would have swallowed us alive,
            When their anger was kindled against us;
      4Then the waters would have engulfed us,
            The stream would have swept over our soul;
      5Then the raging waters would have swept over our soul.”
      6Blessed be the LORD,
            Who has not given us to be torn by their teeth.
      7Our soul has escaped as a bird out of the snare of the trapper;
            The snare is broken and we have escaped.
      8Our help is in the name of the LORD,
            Who made heaven and earth.

YOU, my Lord, have rescued my life. YOU were my only solution and YOU came through for me faithfully, powerfully and completely. YOU have restored my joy and my hope. YOU are EVERYTHING to me. Once again, You have proved yourself to be true to Your Word that says "For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His..." Lord, You have completely supported me when I could not even stand. You carried me when I had no strength. And somehow, You took the dust of my pulvarized heart and used the glue of Your love to put it back together, leaving it greater in its capacity to love, to forgive, to have empathy for others, to have hope, and to believe all that You have said about Yourself. Only You could accomplish what you have done. 

There is no power on earth or in Hell that can defeat You. When You speak, it is done, decisively and completely. You still breathe life into things that are dead. You heal, restore and bring reconciliation. You are the only solution to every problem. And You guard your children. You know when even one hair falls from their heads. Truly I live what the Psalmist also knew.


​1 Lord, I have so many enemies, so many who are against me.
2 Listen to how they whisper their slander against me, saying:
“Look! He’s hopeless! Even God can’t save him from this!”
Pause in his presence

The Help of God3 But in the depths of my heart I truly know
that you, Yahweh, have become my Shield;
You take me and surround me with yourself.
Your glory covers me continually.
You lift high my head when I bow low in shame.
4 I have cried out to you, Yahweh, from your holy presence.
You send me a Father’s help.
Pause in his presence

The Song of Safety5 So now I’ll lie down and sleep like a baby--
then I’ll awake in safety, for you surround me with your glory.
6 Even though dark powers prowl around me,
I won’t be afraid.

The Secret of Strength7 I simply cry out to you:
“Rise up and help me, Lord! Come and save me!”
And you will slap them in the face,
breaking the power of their words to harm me.
8 My true hero comes to my rescue,
for the Lord alone is my Savior.
What a feast of favor and bliss he gives his peop

Have you ever wrestled with God? Have you ever wanted so badly to give a situation to Him to handle but had a hard time letting go, even though you wanted to? Even though you knew you needed to? Even though you knew He wanted you to but you were afraid to totally let go knowing that you might end up miserable and in a vulnerable place...again? That's the best way I know to explain where I with a situation that forced itself into my life. I'm not usually so stubborn with God, but as things went along I realized that it wasn't that I didn't want God to have it, it was that I was afraid of what He might do with it after it was completely out of my hands. I was doubting the wisdom of God in my life because I was afraid that He would allow more pain and I couldn't imagine how I would ever make it through. 

The funny thing is that the situation has never really been under my control in any sense. The consequences of it just landed squarely in my lap like a meterorite the size of Texas falling from the sky and it left me crushed beneath the weight of it and as any normal human would do, I went into self-preservation mode in an attempt to salvage what part of my heart was still left and tried to put a strategy in place to guard my heart so it could heal and hopefully never be in that position again. It's human nature.

Unfortunately, in trying to understand what had happened, I questioned God, wondering why He had allowed something like this to happen and eventually questioning His goodness and the power of prayer. And you know what? God never left me, even when I was upset with Him. He gently pulled me back and entered into my everyday life in a new and wonderful way. As we walked the healing road together, He would reach over and say, "give that to me." I would let Him have it for a moment or two but then would grab it back while I questioned His intentions. Again, He would lovingly say, "give it to me please. Let me take this burden from you and use it to make something beautiful of your brokeness." 

Part of my hesitation in allowing God to do what He wanted was because I forgot the alphabet. Because I had never been in a situation quite like this one before, I did what everyone does, I Googled it and found that there was a myriad of opinions out there. What one said I should do, another said I shouldn't. One would predict one outcome, the other a completely opposite outcome. Both had years of experience, research and even Bible verses to back them. What was confusing was that none of them instructed me to do what had come to me initially in the first few moments of recognizing that I had a situation to deal with. I had just crumpled on the floor, looked up to heaven and said God, I don't know to do. I don't know what to say. Please help me! 

God did not give me the whole plan up front like Google did. He gave me one instruction and then the next day, He added a little to it. And so it went, day by day by day and it was the exact oppposite of what Google had laid out for me. In fact, God is still leading me day by day as we walk the healing road. Many times the devil would come and taunt me, telling me that this was all going to explode right in my face, that I was being a fool to think that God was going to intervene in my situation when He obviously hadn't for so many others. And so I vasillated between believing that I had really heard God and thinking that I was just refusing to see the writing on the wall and wasn't facing reality. 

Than God began to talk to me in prayer. One day, I sensed Him asking me to be quiet, in essence to just shut up already, and I realized that I had been going to God and telling Him what I so desperately needed, how things were supposed to look, what I was hoping the resolution would look like, how quickly I wanted it to happen, and reminding Him that I was asking according to His will and that it would glorify Him in the end. Prayers prayed in desperation must be accompanied by faith, not just hope, when asking and because I had already questioned God's intentions, they were mostly asked in desperate hope. When I finally did shut up He began to talk. He said, "I know what you need. I see your fragile heart, but it is stronger than you know because you see, I have taken the dust that was your heart before and I have made something new from it. Now, I want you to do what I told you in very beginning. I know it flies in the face of conventional Christian opinion. I know Google doesn't agree but don't forget, God comes before Google. I know it sounds crazy. I know it puts you in a position so vulnerable that it's terrifying to you, but that's okay. I just want you to entrust me with your life. Remember, I have instructed you to "not be anxious about your life." Even if the very worst scenario that you could imagine happens, you will be okay because you are not who you were when this all started. I want you to count the cost of following me in this situation and make a decision and once you have made the decision to let me have this, I don't want you to ever look back and question if you made the right decision. I have told you what is best. Follow me."

Then one Saturday night, I could not sleep. After trying everything I knew to go to sleep, it dawned on me that maybe the Lord had me awake for a reason so I asked Him and He said to me, "it's time. Tell it goodbye and give it to me. You've been able to make absolutely no headway as long as you've had it in your hands. Make the decision and believe that my grace is sufficient, my power knows no bounds, and I have only your good in mind in anything that might come in the future. As I have walked with you thus far, I will walk with you again. And so I did what the Lord asked of me. i gave it to him, with a little fear and trepidation, and promptly fell asleep. 

The next morning I drove to church. During the morning worship service, a message in tongues was given. The interpretation was everything that the Lord had spoken to me the night before and in the days leading up to my decisions to finally let go of it and let Him take control. God confirmed that He had heard me the very first time as I lay crumpled on the floor and I had heard Him correctly, even in the midst of my confusion and pain. He didn't scold me for wasting so much time. He didn't chide me for being stubborn. He didn't demean me for being caught up in the weakness of my human flesh and intellect. He just poured His peace and a new resolve into my Spirit that I have never had before. I know He's doing something good. He's making me grow up in Him a little bit more and believe me, growing pains have been involved. 

I learned a valuable lesson though. God is with us, even in the worst of times. God doesn't cause a lot of the bad things that happen to us, but He allows them for a righteous reason. He will still speak in a way that we can hear and understand. And He will help us with them IF we will trust Him enough to give them to Him. Surely He never leaves or forsakes us and He is help in times of trouble. Go to Him first. You won't be disappointed.

​

Life is always changing. It's inevitable. For our family, it's as if the Lord took the elements of our lives in His hands and just threw them up into the air. So for now, we're just waiting to see where everything settles.

If we didn't know the Lord as well as we do, if we neglected to remember all the times that He came through in similar situations, if we didn't completely trust His ways and timing, we might be a mess right now. But we're not. We take solace in knowing that if all we know turns to dust and it means that we have to start over, it's okay because God uses dust to create new things.

He formed us from the dust of the earth. That word can mean dry earth, dust, ashes, or debris. So when life leaves you sitting a heap of ashes or the debris of unfortunate circumstances, take heart! God is about to create something new! 

When the potter wants to reuse the clay from a pot that cracked, he takes the broken pieces and grinds them into powder. Then water is added to rehydrate the clay. But that is not enough to ensure that the clay will not crack again during firing. So, sand or stone is added to "temper" the clay. Temper, or "grog" as it's more commonly called is stone or shell that has been ground down to a certain size mesh, like the size of sand sugar, or small pebbles. By adding the right amount of this gritty grog, the created piece is less likely to crack when under the intense heat of the firing oven because it lowers the plasticity of the clay and makes the pot more permeable. It helps the created piece remain truer to size and form and adds stability.

As with earthly clay, when we are humbled, God can create something new that is stronger, truer, and more stable-resistant to the enemy's fiery darts. In Ephesians 5, Paul admonishes us to walk as children of God and warns us of the evils that prevail on earth. He reminds us that we live in an evil world and that there is a battle to wage. 

This grit that has been ground out of the ashes of our failures, past experiences, and life lessons causes us to become stronger and unbreakable when the potter is finished re-fashioning our lives. The new permeability that it adds allows the Holy Spirit to flow more easily through us into the world. What a wonderful thought. A broken life is never wasted by the Lord. He takes our brokenness and remakes it into something more beautiful and useful.

So if you're life feels like a heap of ashes or a pile of dust right now, be of good cheer! Don't allow discouragement to leave you useless. It doesn't mean your life is over. God is going to take the pulverized areas of your life and re-create you into a useful vessel that He can use.  As Patsy Clairmont's book title says, "God Uses Cracked Pots."

Israel's life and existence seemed to be over but God said to them, "Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth, shall you not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Is 43:19

God remembers that we are dust. We need to remember that too. Dust in the hand of a Redeemer who is also creative can become a beautiful creation. To God-the potter, it's never over! 

WARNING! Barnyard words are part of the content of this entry. No cows were hurt in the writing of this blog.

 I know! You're shocked. I'm blogging at 12:30 pm. How can this be? Does my employer know I'm doing this? Of course not! I'm not at work. I'm laying in bed listening to an air conditioner that sounds like it's gasping for it's last breath running in my left ear...which hurts by the way...my ear, that is. I don't know how the air conditioner feels.

I hate being sick. It stinks! I try to be optimistic and believe that I will get over this but after 7 days, two of which involved antibiotics, I still feel crappy. I know that's a barn word but you'll have to deal with it. When my husband says to me "how do you feel," is it whining to say I have a fever, my head hurts, my ears hurt, my throat feels like I swallow a knife every time I swallow, I can't talk louder than a whisper, my lungs are full of junk that I cough up as infrequently as possible because that exasperates my throat issue AND gives me terrible back spasms that make me yell in pain and take my breath away? Well it's more like a silent scream because no sound comes out of my mouth! Just a few squeaks at most.  Probably, so I just tell him that I feel like crap.  As a former dairy farmer, which is equivalent in weightiness of definition  to being a "former Marine," he gets it. Please I mean no disrespect to our brave men in uniform, but once a dairy farmer, always a dairy farmer.  Moo-rah!

The front of my last dose of Tylenol does allow me an hour or two of feeling like part of the human race, and if you're wondering, I just took some about 30 minutes ago which is why this blog is not just a bunch of monster-ish scibble. Or maybe it is, who knows? 

I tried to leave a message on RespectsEX call off, which is what my phone at work calls the call off voice mail but my co-workers probably think I was some pervert breathing heavy and whispering things in the phone. I guess when I don't show up, they will figure out that something is wrong. 

I was planning to return to work on Thursday because the PA told me to take at least two days to rest, but then I realized that some PAs have no clue about what they are doing. The advice the last one gave my husband  almost killed him because she got the definitions of hiatal hernia-where is his stomach in that x-ray? and constipation confused and her prescription upping his Omeprazole didn't do any good, even after he told her 35 times that he didn't have heartburn. So I'm sitting here debating whether I need to see a doctor or not. I'm taking some hard hitting antibiotic which requires me to double up on my probiotic and to eat more yogurt than even a yogurt lover could eat in a day. 

I'm keeping my husband from precious sleep every night because I have to set my alarm to take the medication until I can dial it back a little each dose to a doable hour. I'm sure that the jerking and screams/squeaks from the back spasms aren't helping his REM cycles either. 

The antibiotic fact sheet reads like a tv commercial in print and gives me so much confidence when I pop their cow-pill-sized goodness into my mouth. It's like swallowing a Mighty Bean!

The Common side effects, as if I'm not dealing with enough already are:
abdominal discomfort,
bloating,
diarrhea,
gas,
headache,
heartburn,
nausea, and
vomiting.

Other important side effects include:
bloody or prolonged diarrhea,
easy bruising or bleeding,
reversible hepatitis,
rash, and
allergic reactions.

By the way, I can have trouble up to a year after stopping the medication. The gift that keeps on giving, I'd say. 

Now here's the exciting part-
Serious but rare reactions include seizures, severe allergic reactions (anaphylaxis), and low platelet or red blood cell count. Antibiotics can alter the normal bacteria in the colon and encourage overgrowth of some bacteria such as Clostridium difficile which causes inflammation of the colon (pseudomembranous colitis). Patients who develop signs of pseudomembranous colitis after starting Augmentin (diarrhea, fever, abdominal pain, and possibly shock) should contact their physician immediately. Persons who are allergic to the cephalosporin class of antibiotics, which are related to the penicillins, for example, cefaclor (Ceclor), cephalexin (Keflex), and cefprozil (Cefzil), may or may not be allergic to penicillins.

What if I have a fever already when I start taking it? How do I know what's causing the fever? So we are killing bacteria to make room for bigger and better ones? Can I even call a doctor if I'm in shock? Not according to most TV shows I've watched. Usually when they yell "he's going into shock," the patient is already unconscious so I don't think that the suggestion  that this medication is going to make me better is helping my stress levels all that much. I turned down the steroid that she suggested because I never want to put those things in my body. To be truthful I don't even want to put what I'm taking now into my body-except for the yogurt and the vanilla bean frappaccinos that my daughter brings me from Starbucks every day. I guess it's necessary for now. And just let me say that those frapappacinos work better than Succrets at numbing your throat. (Just trying to supply a tastier option if you're looking for one). And I want the world to know that my daughter is a dear to bring them to me since she doesn't drive and walks, in this heat, all the way to Barnes and Noble just to get them for me because they give me an hour of much needed relief. 

Now most of you that know me know that I am no sissy when it comes to sickness or injuries. Most of the time I just power through. This caught me quite off guard. The fever took me right out. I'm still questioning the diagnosis. Can you have a sinus infection without your nose ever getting stuffy? Without sneezing involved? I don't know. I'll have to Google it after my next nap, which I need, by the way. 

I could go into the ramifications of having some of my symptoms, being an older woman and all, but I guess that your understanding of them DEPENDS on your understanding of being a woman over 50 who had 4 bladder battering monster children but we'll leave that for another day...or not. 

​Wish me happy napping!

​One of my co-workers had a bowl of Tootsie rolls on his desk to share with everyone. They are the smallest size tootsie roll and when you're having a sugar craving just right to squelch it. They are only 11 calories and since I don't usually eat all my points in a day anyway, I don't feel bad about eating one. So that's five a week or 55 calories.


The problem comes in when I pop that candy into my mouth and the phone rings. Rather than gross out my co-workers by spitting it our and saving it, I just have to chew it as fast as I can before I answer the phone. Then I feel as if I was cheated, so I go get another one. On days when I'm weak, I might end up eating 3-4 of those delicious little bites and THAT IS NOT GOOD! Because after all is said and done, I might have close to 100 calories invested in those little brown devils. That's 15 minutes of walking at a fast pace to burn that off!


The bad thing is now my body wants at least one everyday at 3 pm. I have sworn off the temptation but my flesh is still longing, crying for, aching for a Tootsie roll. It tells me that just one won't hurt. It's not breaking the rules. It's well within the allowable guidelines. And so on and so on.


In our spiritual lives, the devil has a bowl of Tootsie Rolls that he is more than willing to share with us. Those little things in scripture that aren't marked as wrong, but that we are cautioned about. It's okay to have a little wine for your stomach, but notice he said "a little. For medicinal reasons. It's not prohibited. I can't say that someone who drinks a glass of wine now and then is going to hell. The problem is that things like this cause us to walk close to a line that we don't want to cross, if we truly love God, that is.


Let's look at alcohol for a minute. The Bible does tell us that the drunkard will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. From my BC (before Christ) days, I know that it is hard to tell when you have crossed the line from sober to drunk. The law has an allowable limit, but that doesn't mean it's the same as God's. Then factor in tolerance, that the longer we drink, the more we need to get the feeling we were seeking in the first place and soon we are not just taking one tootsie roll from the bowl and if we're not careful we have crossed the line into sin. (As a side thought I would just add that I have no earthly idea why a Christian would "need" a drink. There is nothing found in alcohol that you won't find more abundantly in Christ. If you feel that you "need " a drink, then friend, what you really need is Christ.)


You might say that you can handle it, that you know how much you can drink and stay sober. Godly Noah thought he could to. Read Genesis and see how that worked for him.  Proverbs 20:1 clearly tells us that drinking is not wise. We are always seeking God's wisdom for the things that affect our lives-our marriages, raising our children, making business decisions, handling problems-so why won't we accept the wisdom God freely gives us without us asking? Why do we feel that we have to walk so close to the line just because we can? It's called carnality.


Billy Graham describes the carnal Christian as follows:
"There was a time, perhaps, when you were a spiritual Christian. You still had your first love; a fire burned in your heart for God. But something has happened along the way, something has disturbed your relationship with God, and you no longer know the joy, the peace and the thrill that you once knew." You have fallen prey to the three enemies of your soul-the world, the flesh and the devil and somehow it appears to be sweet like a Tootsie roll that just beckons to you from the bowl.


There are other things as well that if we overindulge in, they will steal our fidelity, strength and resolve and cause us to lose out with God. What are the tootsie rolls in your life? Is it entertainment? Music? The Sabbath? Modesty?


Take each tootsie roll and ask yourself these questions:
Will it benefit me spiritually?
Is there the potential for bondage?
Will it defile my temple?
Could it cause anyone to stumble?
Will it further the cause of evangelism?
Will it violate my conscience?
Will it bring glory to God?


If you truly want to please the Lord, err on the side of safety. Don't get too close to the edge. Don't walk on the line. Your enemy, the devil, is waiting for an opportunity, any opportunity to trip you up.

I don't think I've shared much about my husband's health issues the last 3 years. In 7 days, we will encounter the third anniversary of the beginning of years of trips to the emergency room, tests, doctors, pain and unanswered questions. Three years ago, my son requested Chinese food from a local restaurant. We obliged. I also made some food from scratch to complement it. At around 5pm, our whole family-my 4 children, son-in-law, grandsons and husband sat down, gave thanks and ate. 

At 9pm, I got a call from my oldest daughter. She and her husband were very sick and needed help. My toddler grandson was fine and the nursing baby was also well, but they were literally fighting over the toilet because they were vomiting so violently and often. I rushed over to their house to take care of them. At around 11pm, I got a text from my oldest son. He, my youngest daughter and my youngest son were still living at home. The text read "by the way...the rest of us are sick too." In other words, come home Mom! I stayed until about 3am at my daughter's house, helping to feed the baby from a bottle and making sure that the sick were at least trying to hydrate. 

When I arrived home, our two bathrooms were being put to the test. Four people were violently ill. I felt fine though. I had eaten very little of the store bought food. I went to the store and loaded up on Gatorade, Popsicles, and chicken noodle soup. I called off work to take care of them. That evening I began to feel ill as well and ended up joining them in the bathroom runs just as some of them were starting to feel better. I missed another days work because I was laid up too. 

On day three, I called the health department to let them know that we had gotten food poisoning from the restaurant. Their first question was, "did you go to the hospital and get stool samples?" I informed him that we didn't because I couldn't fit nine people, two car seats, and a toilet in my van all at the same time. Because they couldn't match our bacteria to bacteria at the restaurant and because no other people not related to us reported food poisoning, they had to deduce that we had caught a virus. I laughed as I said that he had better call the Center of Disease Control because this virus spread faster than yellow fever and the Bubonic Plague. 

After recovering from the initial poisoning, my husband began to have trouble.  He had two hernia surgeries. He started to get sick during dinner. It took us several months of cutting certain foods out of his diet to come to the conclusion that he had developed a yeast intolerance. We later learned that this is common after having a serious case of food poisoning. This caused us to totally revamp what we ate. I read every food label at the store before putting it in my basket. We quit eating out except for two restaurants because all the other places made him sick. Basically we started eating like cave men without the fancy label of Paleo. That summer, he got to a place where he could not eat anything except water melon. For three weeks he lived on water melon and lost 30 lbs. He went to the doctor who ran every blood test you can run and did a sonogram on every major organ of his body and pronounced him completely normal. Eventually he began to eat again but nothing was ever found. After that, he began to have painful abdominal attacks. They were so severe that I would practically carry him into the emergency room. This happened every 4-7 weeks for the next 2 years. Every time we went to the emergency room, we got a different diagnosis. 

One x-ray revealed that he had a large hiatal hernia and his stomach had gone up into his chest cavity and lodged against his lung. A surgeon operated and sewed his stomach back in place, attaching it to his diaphragm to keep it in place. They also took his gall bladder, just in case. We were hopeful that this would end the attacks he had been having but they didn't. Within one week he was back in hospital and then again in a few weeks after that. A gastrointestinal specialist was called in. She did an endoscopy, a colonoscopy and a stomach emptying test.  All were normal. He was officially declared a mystery. 

Over the last 3 months I noticed that he seemed sick more often. In fact, about 3 weeks ago, he was just sick all the time. He tried to brave it out with me begging him to call the doctor again. Two Thursdays ago he asked me if I would mind staying home from work because he was feeling very rough. I of course agreed. By 8am I knew we were in trouble and I rushed him to the emergency room. A CAT scan revealed that he had a band of tissue, much like a rubber band growing around the outside of the colon and squeezing it off. So back to the operating room he went. After 7 days in the hospital, 4 of those with a large hose up his nose and down his throat to drain his stomach and prevent nausea, and a six inch stapled incision on his abdomen, he has come home to rest, recuperate and gain back the 14 lbs he lost when he went 7 days without any solid food. 

To say that this and many other serious situations that we faced over the last 3 years were anything but excruciating would be a lie. Never in my life have I ever been so pressed, crushed and persecuted than I was then. The physical, emotional and yes, spiritual toll that life took on me was greater than I could have ever imagined. After all, I've been a dedicated Christian for 35 years. I've seen a lot and been through a lot of crushing situations. I would have never imagined that I could ever be in the place that I came to be just a few months ago. 

In the last week someone texted me to encourage me and said something about how strong I am. That immediately scared me. You see, I know that I am strong in the Lord but I also know that I am not as strong as my enemy. I am not invincible. My life over the last 1 1/2 years proved that to me. I suffered greatly in several situations. It was so bad that I even questioned God on many levels and spent two weeks totally prayerless doubting and accusing God. I'm not proud of this but it's the truth.  

So often we face our giants without a word to anyone else. There are times when that is necessary. However, God has given us something called "family" in Him. They are there for the purpose of support and help and prayer. Unfortunately there is much teaching in the church that discourages us from using them. Some teaching would tell us that to be needy in faith is lack of faith. We don't want to appear weak in faith, so we say nothing and bear our pain alone, leaving us isolated and vulnerable to an enemy who is much stronger than we are. 

My fear was that people would look at me and say "She is strong. She can handle this." and then they wouldn't pray for me. I didn't want to imagine that I was going to have to make it through my struggles on my own prayers alone. Perhaps they would be enough but it's a whole lot better to have numbers when you are facing something that is larger than you. As humbling as it might be to admit that you are having trouble keeping "the faith", we have to realize that it can happen to anyone and I mean anyone. It can happen to the strongest person you know. It can happen to the leadership in your church. It can happen to your Pastor, your mentor, or the person who led you to the Lord. We are all subject to the devil's wrath and he is stronger and more cunning than we are. He is out to destroy us. If we allow our pride or the false teaching that tells us that we are invincible to keep us from humbling ourselves in times of need and admitting that we need support, we will surely fail in our spiritual lives. 

The Apostle Paul not only prayed for others but he asked for prayer from others as well. He was strong but even he still needed prayer. He faced opposition and situations that were much larger than he was. I believe it was the prayers of others that sustained him and made him victorious in every situation that he faced. In Philippians 1:19-20 Paul said " for I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayers and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, 20 according to my earnest expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death." Notice he said provision of the Spirit AND the prayers of the saint. Both were asked for. 

So the next time you see a brother or sister facing a situation, don't assume that they are strong enough to handle it on their own. You don't know all the facts. You don't where they've been or what they're facing. You don't know the unseen torment they may be experiencing or the flack they are taking from the enemy of their souls. You don't know how high the enemy has piled their plate. So even if it seems that they should be able to weather this alone, pray for them anyway and if God lays something practical on your heart that you could do to make their load a little lighter, do it, even if it may seem unnecessary. I can tell you from experience, it could be a lifeline that they desperately need to make it through and glorify God.

I have not said much, if anything, about our presidential election. Since emotions were running so high on both sides I decided to keep my mouth shut, do my civic duty and vote my moral conscience. Since the election, those on the losing side have spewed forth a constant stream of slurs and insults at people like me who did not vote the way they did. They have rioted in the streets, destroying public and private property and assaulting innocent people who are just trying to exercise their right to drive down the street their tax dollars have paved. Even people I work with have talked about cutting off friendships with those of such opposing views. In the wake of all the talk from the left of diversity of thought, acceptance of ALL religions and ideals, and tolerance, I honestly have to wonder if their definition of those words are in a dictionary I have never seen before. Granted it is not ALL that voted for Hillary who are being obnoxious and I would never deny anyone their freedom of speech. I get that. I just wish that those that voted for Hillary would get it too. Just because I voted for a man they consider a monster does not make me one too. I think Hillary is a monster but that doesn't make everyone who voted for her one. In the past they voted in one Bill Clinton whose sexual escapades and predatory tendencies were well known before he ran for president. And since I'm speaking frankly, as a woman, I can't understand why her supporters believed her for one minute when she presented herself as a champion of the cause for women. She knowingly and willingly covered for a sexual predator. Not only did she do that but she also then threatened the women he victimized if they came out and said what really happened to them. She did this for her political gain, not because she cares so much about women. She has betrayed women at the deepest level.

As far as her glass ceiling is concerned, that is a moot point. The issue in any election is not if the president wears a bra or not, it's who is most qualified to address the needs of the country at that present time and what they are planning to do to move our country forward. I think there are many women in our country qualified to be president and some day one of them may just be president but the fact that they are a woman is not what qualifies or disqualifies them! 

Just because I voted for Donald Trump, and yes, I held my nose as I did it, does not mean that I hate blacks, Muslims, gays, foreigners or women. For heavens' sake, I am a woman! They make it sound like I have neither morals or a conscience just because I voted for someone they deemed unfit for office. I don't recall thinking the same of them when they elected Barak Obama and I did not think he was qualified either. I didn't go downtown and riot, I didn't smash people's windshields, I didn't need a therapy dog, or playdough or a box of tissues. I did up the prayer time though and hey...I survived not 4 years but 8 of President Obama;s failed policies! You can certainly survive 4 years of The Donald.

I will concede that morally, Donald Trump is ranking pretty high up there as the most immoral Republican candidate ever elected to run but anyone who has followed the career path of Hillary Clinton over the last 30 years would know that she is hanging right in there with Donald Trump on a moral level. I did not vote according to the morals of the candidates because I'm not sure that either one of them has any.  I did however vote moral and constitutional issues and made sure that my vote supported those that are closest to God's heart and our constitution.

I voted to spare the unborn from a horrific murder when they are just a few minutes from their first breath. If when a heart stops beating, life ends, then it only makes sense that when it starts beating life begins. To abort a child is ending a life, pure and simple. God created that child, He is knitting it together in the womb, He has a plan for that child. In my mind, God has already made "the choice" concerning both the mother and the child and I don't believe that we have the right to override what God has already designed and out of His love planned a life for. You can throw all the "well what abouts" in my face but at the end of the day there is a solution for the woman who was raped, the woman who was loose, and the woman who forgot her birth control. It is called adoption, not abortion. Most women who end up with an unplanned pregnancy were in a position to make a choice and didn't choose to be responsible for her own body and prevent the chance of pregnancy. In the case of rape, aborting the child will not reverse, soften or make the memory of the rape any easier. It will only add to the problems the mother is already facing. A very high percentage of women who abort children end up in crisis months and even years down the road because it's wrong and eventually the fact that it is built into a human being to know it's wrong, it catches up to her and she is once again in crisis. 

I voted to protect our constitution. Hillary has wafted back and forth on constitutional issues so much through the years, depending on who she was speaking to, that I'm not sure she even knows where she really stands on these issues. However, it was the founding father's intention that we have the right to freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and the right to bear arms to protect ourselves against a government taking over and leaving us defenseless to defend our freedom. In every other country where candidates said they weren't taking guns, there were only "registering" them, they ended up taking them and the crime in those countries is on the rise. Furthermore, once freedoms are taken away, it costs blood and guts to get them back, so why take them in the first place. Gun control will only embolden and enable the criminals in this country because they do not get or use guns in a lawful way. And please, don't be so naive to believe that once freedoms start to disappear that it will only affect the rights of the right leaning. Believe me, they will get around to your rights too.

I voted to protect the future of this country's economy. Surely you know that we have a very serious debt problem! It's not all Barak's making, but he certainly did nothing to help it or stop it. I don't understand why so many Democrats somehow think money is a bad thing. They don't mind George Soros having it.  They don't mind the Clintons having it. I don't see either George or Hillary offering to give theirs to the gov to spread around. Of course, you can't touch it when it's stored in overseas accounts. To give money to spend on the less fortunate, you have to have it. And I believe that I should be free to give to those I come acrossed that are in need. I tithe my money to the church and they in turn support many organizations that directly bless my neighbors here and also feed others around the world. In addition, I give above and beyond the 10% to causes and needs when I see them. In fact, the giving of Republicans to charities FAR exceed that of the Democrats. To be honest, I give more each year to help those in need than either Barak Obama or Joe Biden. I have the right to decide where the money I toiled for goes, not some demagog in Washington DC who usually have their noses shoved so far in the navals they are totally out of touch. Bill Clinton actually wasn't too bad on this issue, but as we all know, Hillary does not listen to Bill. If she had, she might have won the election. 

My point here is that I have the right, according the rhetoric of the Democrats and the constitution to have an opinion, voice my opinion, be respected in my opinions, and to vote my conscience EVEN IF it doesn't line up with theirs. But that's not what I'm experiencing. The arrogance of thinking that you and only you are right and anyone else who thinks differently than you is deplorable, a sexist, a misogynist, a homophobe, and all the other "phobes" makes you just as much a phobe as you say I am.

Republicans were not out killing Muslims or gays before the election. We were not restricting the rights of women before the election either, in fact the Republicans have throughout history been the champions for the oppressed and downcast. We are not trying to rid the country of immigrants. Most of or ancestord were immigrants.  We just want immigration done lawfully.  Truly, what is wrong with the rule of law? It has held this country together and made it great.

Republicans are not the monsters you are making us out to be. We are people, just like the Democrats who love our families and who want to provide a safe, healthy, comfortable environment for our families. If you can't accept that I am a human being deserving of respect and to voice my own opinion, then you aren't a very big person. And even though I don't like Donald Trump for a lot or reasons, I think that some of his ideas are going to be good for our country. I didn't like Barak Obama either but I never unfriended people or belittled and slandered those who do. Seriously, that is just childish and narcissistic.  

I was scared when Obama got elected twice but I didn't react the way some Democrats are today. It's absolutely ridiculous the things that are being spread by the media and those Democrats that don't want this country, for whatever twisted reason. to come together. Let's settle in, work together. We are, as Hillary said, stronger together and together we can make America great again. 

We may differ in ideas, but at the end of the day we really aren't that much different.