I’ve been doing a lot of pondering lately. As I thought about the account of Moses and the children of Israel in the desert, I pondered how the Israelites, having just been delivered from the oppression of Egypt, having just come through the Red Sea on dry land, and after spending 3 days sanctifying themselves in anticipation and preparation for meeting God Himself, could so quickly get to the place of worshipping a pagan image. How could they dance under the shadow of Mt. Sinai at the same time God was meeting with Moses, celebrating amidst the noise, smoke, fire and thunder of God's very presence? And why are we so prone to forget and wander from God, forgetting all that He has done and putting our trust in everything but Him? 

I pondered on what true conversion and salvation looks like, how the Bible defines it, and how it is necessary for citizenship in the Kingdom of God (but not necessarily the modern definition of church). This was after reading a question posed by my Pastor when he raised the question of the difference between being a follower of Jesus and being a fan of Jesus. I pondered the difference between the church of God and the Kingdom of God.  (More to come on that too!)

But today, after reading just the red letters of my Bible, I want to begin to broach the topic of prayer answers, or lack thereof, of asking and receiving, of faith and doubt, of the role players in prayer, and the possibilities in prayer. 

Haven’t we all asked the “Whys?” of unanswered prayer and hard circumstances? Why God? Why this? Why now? Why me? I know I have. I don’t particularly think that it’s wrong to ask God questions, however, I do think it’s wrong to question God, to question His ability, motives and His methods. That only leads to bitterness, doubt and unbelief and is a dangerous place. Yet, at times, things happen that cause us to grow suspicious of what God is doing. His ways are higher than ours, His thoughts massively deeper than ours, and are done with an eternal purpose (a Kingdom purpose) in mind which may tax our ability to understand His eternal idea in the temporal. And although I do believe that God is sovereign, I don’t use that excuse to neglect my investigation of why things happen to me and what God wants me to learn, grow in, or change as a result. I don’t allow myself to think that I have no control of my own life because it is obvious from scripture that our lives are planned by God, but we have some input, the scripts can be altered. Prayer changes things.  

I worked with a young lady whose life motto was “Everything happens for a reason.” It was a glib expression that she used everytime something bad happened to her. What I never understood was why she never took it one step further. She never tried to find out what the reason was. Seriously, I could have helped her out so many times if she would have asked but she continued in her self-imposed ignorance, rendering herself a particle in the chaotic cosmos of life, floating along as helplessly as a dried leaf floats down a fast moving stream. I am someone who wants to understand the “Whys?” of life, even if it proves me to be at fault. Even if it hurts. That’s called growth! That doesn’t mean that God has explained every bad thing that has ever happened to me, because He hasn’t (yet), but He has shown me many times when I was partially, or totally ignorant or complicit in them and I was able to make adjustments so that they could be avoided in the future. I’ve also found that the understanding the truth helps ease some of the angst that comes with hard times and gives me hope for the future. 

I’m sure that Zacharius, after questioning God’s ability while ministering in the temple, never did that again. After being rendered mute for his wife’s entire pregnancy, I bet he learned his lesson. Just think of it. When Elizabeth wanted pickles and ice cream, he just had to go get them because he couldn’t tell her to go get them herself. Can you imagine having to go through the first pregnancy, at their age, without being able to say one word? Just having to listen to her complain of back pain, swollen feet, stretch marks and not being able to tell his buddies how much he was suffering too? Wow! What a predicament! LOL! While Elizabeth was telling everyone what a miracle her baby was, Zacharius was prevented from saying one word of his experience in the temple and boy, what a story he had to tell. 

Meanwhile, in another town, after hearing even more incredible news from the angel, Mary, fully believing what the angel said was possible and would happen, simply questioned the “Hows?” of his message. I have to admit, I would probably have the same questions as she did because let’s face it, she was going to be asking people to believe the unbelievable when most would just believe that she got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Afterall, there had been no miracles in Israel for 400 years, unless you believe the legends of people like Honi who slept for 70 years in an old tree trunk and who drew a circle around himself in the dust and vowed not to leave it until God answered his prayer. And that story is what got me to thinking about prayer and answers to prayer. 

Honi, a Jewish scholar of the first century and a supposed miracle worker, petitioned God for rain when the rainy season was late in coming and vowed not to step outside the circle until God sent it. According to the legend, he stayed in the circle until God sent rain and when God did send rain, then he complained that it was too hard of a rain, so God changed it to a nice, soaking rain. (Boy could we use this man in Centre County these days!  Instead, we have Moses living somewhere incognito in the area and he parts the waters of every rain storm that heads our way! Sorry, I got a little distracted by the drought!) Some people felt that Honi was irreverent in his prayer, making demands upon the Lord. Who did he think he was? But if the legend is true, it worked! And that is when my mind began to ponder. I began to think about desperate prayer, something our Pastor speaks of frequently. I began to think about making requests in prayer vs. making a demand in prayer. Obviously, this man put a demand on God, and God answered. He didn’t pray some flowery prayer softening God up with some praise and worship and meekly asking if God wouldn’t please send some rain, not too much, not too little, piously praying Proverbs 30:7-9, and adding at the end, “if it be Thy Will.” Of course, this is a legend and not Biblical truth. So I began to look in scripture at the prayers people have prayed and at the times when prayers were answered. I began to think about our position as children of the Kingdom and what rights, responsibilities and privileges that affords us. I began to remember the times I have been desperate in prayer, when I’ve taken authority over the works of the devil in prayer, when I’ve seen instantaneous miracles in prayer, and of all the answers to prayer I’ve received through the years. But mostly, I pondered who it is that I prayed to and what He has said about prayer and frankly, I think Honi was on to something. 

So, if this has piqued your interest, stay tuned. In the next couple of weeks, I will be sharing more on this and the other things I have been pondering as well because if I know anything about my Pappa God, they all fit together for a reason that is going to change my life! 

What from God's Word have you been pondering lately? I hope you have a place as lovely as the pond in the photo to do your "pondering." My husband and I often walk these grounds and discuss what God is showing us from His Word, inbetween photos, of course. My hubs is so patient with me. I just can't "see a photo" without at least trying to capture it with my camera. Oh, the life of an artsy-fartsy girl but you have to admit, God puts some beautiful art out there for us to enjoy and I want to remember every single piece of it.

Until next blog, could I suggest spending some time in God’s Word? Maybe you too, could read just the red letters of the New Testament. Or perhaps look up every reference to asking, seeking, knocking, prayer. Read the new testament and record every prayer answer and every request that was answered by Jesus. Find out if Jesus ever refused to answer when faith was present. Find out if Jesus ever refused to heal. Find out what Jesus said about faith. What He said about prayer. What He said IN prayer. Put a demand on the Holy Spirit to do what He does best, teaching and revealing the Word of God to your heart. I would be so bold to say that when He’s done, your life won’t be the same either.

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Did you ever feel like you are in limbo? Like your whole life is up in the air and you dont know how it's going to shake out? Like you're in a waiting room and everyone else's name has been called but yours? Like you're just doing nothing for God because alot the ways you served Him before are no longer part of your life's routine? Like you've lost your sphere of influence? Do you worry that you're wasting time while you struggle and pray to find a new normal because nothing in life feels normal anymore?
I've been feeling that way lately. But then I realize that time spent seeking God is never wasted time. He's heard and answered every prayer even if I don't see it yet. He does not see time as I do. What's 60 years to an eternal God? In His economy, I might not have waited very long at all.
Perhaps He is just enjoying having my undivided attention, where I'm just with Him instead of being busy doing things for Him. He has not let a single word I've spoken to Him go unheard. He has not let a single tear fall to the ground. He has kept every one and they are precious to Him.
Starting over or heading a different direction is daunting. There's so much that doesn't feel comfortable because it's new and different and unfamiliar.
I am full of desire to be busy about His business. In my heart, I want to be salt to the whole earth and light to the entire world and as I ponder how to do this, its almost overwhelming. But the key to re-starting is to start small, in my own home, to continue being light to all who enter there. That is more challenging than it sounds because home is where the real me is revealed but it's also where I can have the most impact.
So for today, I will shine as brightly as I can as the oil of His grace fuels my flame. I will surrender my tomorrow into His loving, capable hands and I will follow one day at a time even though I dont know where I'm headed. "But I do know who I have believed and I am persuaded that He is able to keep what I've committed into Him until the day of His return."

Disciples and the World - “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor d...

BIBLEGATEWAY.COM
Bible Gateway passage: Matthew 5:13-16 - New American Standard Bible
Disciples and the World - “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for…

While waiting to leave for Bible study this morning, I picked up a book “Putting Your Heart On Paper” by Henriette Anne Klauser that I got as a freebie from a giveaway site on Facebook. Although it is about writing, the sentiment was also applicable to our spiritual lives. For me, writing is very much a spiritual event as I feel compelled to write words that will encourage and uplift. Ephesians 4:29 says:

29 And never let ugly or hateful words come from your mouth, but instead let your words become beautiful gifts that encourage others; do this by speaking words of grace to help them.

I love the way that’s worded-”let you words become beautiful gifts that encourage others; do this by speaking words of grace to help.” I truly believe there are not enough grace words in this world today. Life is hard. Scripture clearly states that “in the last days, things will grow worse and worse” or “worser and worser as one of my grandsons would say. How true that has become in the 60 years I have had on this earth. 

Sometimes when we start a new writing project, we don’t know how to start. She suggests that the trick to getting started writing is simply to write. She said that when you sit down to share your heart, you often say what you didn’t even know you had to say.. You don’t need to know the end to begin.. You don’t even need to know the beginning to begin. Just begin even if the first thing you say is “I don’t know how to begin.” She suggests going to your writing with an empty, open hand, with questions and let the writing answer.

Then she said something I absolutely love. “It’s what you know after you know it all that counts. Putting your heart on paper is about so much more than writing. It’s about living a life that is connected with others.” 

I couldn’t help but think that these ideas are so true when it comes to prayer. If you are having trouble praying, just pray. 

~Even if your first sentence is God, I don’t know what to say. That’s okay because the Holy Spirit is our helper. 
~Even if you hurt so badly, no words will come out. God sees and knows your hurt and your heart. He’s there,    He cares
~Even if you don’t know where to go in prayer or what to pray about. He will lead you and you will be surprised and delighted at where He takes you sometimes.
~Even if you don’t have anything good to say. He just wants to be with you.
~Even if everything is wonderful and you have no requests. He is wonderful and loves it when you tell Him so.

And when you and He are done talking, you will know thing, things that He said to you that no one can take away.  Prayer is so much more religious activity or a spiritual 911 call. It’s about connecting with God, knowing Him, enjoying Him, understanding Him, seeing Him for who He really is. 

The finished product of prayer is a deeper love, a more peaceful heart, and a changed life. 

So today, even if you don’t know how or what to pray, just pray. He’s waiting to meet and talk with you. 

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